Let's Scar Syaoran!
by flo-bizet
Summary: Exactly what it says. Happy fun time scarring the poor boy with much KuroFainess! Accepting ideas from reviewers. Chapter 16: Blossoming Part 1. It's Sakura's unwilling turn to scar the boy! Geez, I need to update more often. It's been three months!
1. The Question that Ruined Life

**Date Written:** January 22, 2007

**WARNINGS!** Much of the sexual innuendos and KuroFai-ness.

**Kalili:** I know I just posted a different story in this section a few days ago, but this came to me this morning and I just HAD to post it!

**Fai:** Kalili doesn't normally post things in the middle of the week, but she's updating her other story this weekend and just hates having a double post in the same section on the same day.

**Kalili&Fai:** So enjoy Syaoran awkwardness!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Tsubasa Chronicles, because if I did then –_noun_- would –_verb_- -_noun_-.

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"Oh, this? It's a hickie."

And thus began the plethora of awkward moments Syaoran would experience throughout this journey. The poor boy would be shown an entirely different dimension that was able to and did travel along with Sakura and him. The dimension's name? Kurogane and Fai. But let's go more into this discussion between young Syaoran and Fai, shall we?

"Fai-san, what on earth is that on your neck?" Syaoran had exclaimed.

Fai casually picked up one of the spoons from the kitchen where he was busy preparing their breakfast and looked to where Syaoran was pointing. He then laughed and said, "Oh, this? It's a hickie."

Syaoran had never had much experience with boys his age as he was too busy helping his father and now there was the whole get Princess Sakura's feathers to get her memories back, yadda yadda, so he had never learned much about couple interactions. It was quite predictable that he asked next, "What's a hickie?"

Not missing a beat, Fai said, "A mark."

"It's not a mark of an illness, is it? If so, we should get you a doctor right away! It's turned purple!"

"Calm down, Syaoran-kun! I should have been more specific. It's a bruise."

"Oh. What did you do to get such a big one?"

"Inquisitive as always, aren't we? Well, let's turn this into a fun learning opportunity! Now, if you examine this bruise, you will see that there are marks surrounding it. Do you see them?" Syaoran nodded as Fai leaned down for him to get a better look. "If you were to find the matching marks to something in this house, that is what gave me this bruise. Okay?"

"O-okay, but Fai-san… they look like… like... teeth marks?"

"Very good, Syaoran-kun! You're so smart! Now just go and find the matching set!" Fai punctuated this command with a cheer leader type pose.

Syaoran didn't know what to say, so he just nodded again and left the kitchen. He wasn't about to go and examine everyone's mouth, but the thought just woldn't leave him. What were the person's motives for biting Fai on the neck and leaving such a large bruise? He quickly took out himself, Fai, and Sakura from the list of suspects and then was pondering whether or not Mokona had teeth (he never really thought to look before). Kurogane, however, was just a very strange thought. Syaoran knew they fought very often, but would Kurogane really bite Fai like that? He seemed to be the type who wanted to kill Fai with a sword, not his mouth.

Suddenly, the subject of his recent thoughts came around the corner and put his hand on Syaoran's forehead to keep from running into him. "Don't walk around when you're thinking like that," he muttered.

"Ah, sorry, Kurogane-san!" Syaoran quickly said. He then thought that he better ask his question just to double check Kurogane wasn't the biting type. "Um, I have a question, Kurogane-san…"

"Yeah?"

"Um, well, uh, I was just, um, wondering, uh…"

"Spit it out, kid!"

"Well… would you ever bite Fai-san?"

"… Why?"

"Um, Fai-san has this terrible bruise on his neck that he said was from someone biting him and-"

"That idiot!" Kurogane quickly ran to the kitchen where Syaoran heard much yelling along the lines of,

"What the hell were you thinking telling the kid that!"

"I didn't see the harm in it."

"If he didn't know what it was to begin with, you should have just kept it as a

bruise!"

"I did because it is. It's a bruise that Kuro-myuu gave me this morning that happens to also be called a hickie!"

"Shut up, you want that bun to hear you? And why did you tell him to go and FIND the person, of all things!"

"I thought that it would be a wonderful hands-on learning experience for Syaoran on the birds and the bees!"

And that is what made Syaoran realize what a hicky really was. Needless to say, he didn't spend much time around Kurogane and Fai for the rest of the day. Instead, he went to his local library and secretly checked out a book all about such things in hopes of avoiding another moment like that days'. Oh, how wrong he was to think such a thing.

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**A/N: If anyone is interested, I'm taking requests for future chapters.** I already have many other ideas, but I'm sure that you good people have some dirty minds which I would just LOVE to hear from!

You know what to do!

Please leave a review!

As always, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcomed with Fai and Mokona hugs!


	2. Swords and Wands

**Summary:** An innocent conversation between Fai and Kurogane on their weapons.

**Date Written:** January 24, 2007

**Kalili:** It hurts! My hands and fingers are covered in scratches and sliced up! Stupid Roberto's and cat. But I must prevail!

**Fai:** I'll cheer for you! To the readers, just to let you know, there is NOT going to be a detailed lemon in here because of this authoress' inabilitie to create serious porn. And Kurogane wants to keep our private life private, for some strange reason. -_ingnoring Kurogane banging on the door_-

**Kalili:** Tried. Didn't work out. Plus, there's enough out there to satisify fangirls for like, one day. Oh, I keep seeing this icon with Fai or Fai and Kurogane in maids outfits. Is that picture a doujinshi thing, or something that someone could maybe SEND me? Huh? huh?

**Fai:** But you have no use for icons. Oh well, ENJOY THE INNUENDOS!

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And so dearest Syaoran no longer had the bliss of innocence to prevent his mind from becoming even more screwed up ever since he started his journey. Not two days went by before he regretted his decision of reading "Puberty and You" and "The Joys of Sex: Every Kind". Reason? Now everything, no matter what the subject, sounded like it had a double meaning with Kurogane and Fai.

"Your sword is really big."

"I know."

"Have you handled bigger?"

"Size doesn't matter. It's how experienced the handler is that leaves him satisfied with his work."

"Hm. I don't know about that."

"… Excuse me?"

"You've said that a sword is an extension of your body, haven't you? Well, wouldn't you want a large one? I think that that would improve things."

"What the hell do you know anyway!? You don't use a sword!"

"I have a wand!"

"Not anymore, you don't. And like you could compare your wand to my sword."

"Why not? My wand is bigger than your sword!"

"Sure. Besides, you never put it to good use."

"Did Kuro-wan wan want me to put it to good use? I might be able to!"

"NO."

"Aw, why not?"

"Because I refuse to let you anywhere near me with it!"

"But you ALWAYS have your sword around me!"

"You seemed to be pretty happy about it before."

"I still am! I like you even more with it out! But you're one to talk when it comes to using something. You haven't whipped your sword out for quite some time. Are you having trouble with it?"

"I NEVER have trouble with it! I just haven't seen the point of using it lately… Quit giving me that face!"

"I miss Kuro-wank's sword! Have you polished it?"

"Where the hell did that question come from?"

"Well, you have to be doing something with it. Otherwise, you might get rusty in using it."

"You don't have to worry about that. I'm a natural."

"Aren't we cocky?"

"WE NEED TO LEAVE NOW!" Syaoran exclaimed as he ran out of the café, a bewildered Sakura in tow.

Kurogane and Fai looked at the cloud of dust Syaoran had left before shrugging it off and continuing in their conversation.

"Look, a master swordsman, which I AM, does not get rusty with his weapon!... Why the hell are you laughing?"

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**A/Q:** I want to use the wedding scene from Ever After where that Spanish girl is crying her eyes out about having to marry that prince (I would, too, he was a jerk!). But I can't decide whether Kurogane should be the one having to marry some chick and have Fai bawling in the audience, or vice versa (Fai crying comically, either way). Don't worry, I've already figured out how to make it scarring to Syaoran with both scenes, but I don't know if Fai sobbing would be too OOC or not. **Give me your opinion please, but just remember that it would be more comical than angst, since that's how it was in the movie!**

You know what to do!

Please leave a review!

As always, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcomed with clips of Syaoran's trip to his psychologist!


	3. Not so Mysterious Sounds

**Summary:** Things aren't always what they seem… they could be worse.

**Date Written:** January 29, 2007

**Kalili:** I have added Kurogane and Fai into my (sister's) laptop dictionary!

**Fai:** They should be in there to begin with.

**Kalili:** I know, right?

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Syaoran-kun?" Sakura said as she approached the boy.

"Yes, Princess?" Syaoran said.

"I think there's something wrong with Fai-san. I keep hearing him moaning and-"

Dear God, no! How dare Kurogane and Fai taint Sakura's ears! Would all of his hard work protecting her suddenly be smashed all because those two couldn't wait until they were out of the house? However, there was still time left to salvage her soul. "Oh, um, Fai-san is probably just, uhhh, hurt!"

"Then we need to go help him right away!"

Right, so he really should have thought of something before opening his mouth. He blamed it on being too focused making sure he didn't scream, "Get off of Fai-san!" (1) whenever he saw Kurogane, that he didn't think of saying something like, "It's an ancient ritual from Fai-san's world to help our days be happier," or something vague like that. Of course, then he'd have to think up some explanation on how he knew that, then Sakura might just go up and ask Fai more about the ritual or worse. If she could watch. Speaking of her going places, she was currently making her way up to Fai's room.

"Princess, wait!" Syaoran shouted, running up the steps after her. Luckily, after such a long time of arriving just in the knick of time to prevent the girl from her doom (this one being no different than plummeting into a pit leading to hell), he was able to grab her wrist and stop her from turning the knob. Choosing to ignore the sounds from the bedroom, Syaoran composed himself and said, "I think it's best to leave Fai-san alone."

"Why?" Sakura asked.

Ha ha! He had seen that one coming! Be amazed, Sakura, at Syaoran's amazing power of words! "He's practicing an ancient ritual from his world." Booyah!

"But didn't you say he was hurt?" The power of words is in no way connected to the power of memory (pun unintended). "… Did you lie to me, Syaoran-kun?"

The god of that world must have hated Syaoran, or something.

"NO! I would never-!"

"Then why did you say Fai-san was hurt then that he was doing a ritual?"

"… Uhhh, beeeecaaauuusssse, it's a ritual that involves pain in exchange for happy days!"

"That's horrible! We need to stop him! It's not worth it just for us!"

The next few seconds seemed to go by like hours. Syaoran watched in horror as Sakura's hand slowly turned the door knob, his own hand desperately shooting out to stop her as he heard his voice yelling "no" in deep slow motion. All of this over-dramatic crap was for nothing, though, for the princess soon witnessed what was inside the bedroom.

"Mokona?"

Yes, the meat bun.

"Yay!" it cheered, jumping into Sakura's arms. "Mokona is free!"

"You were locked in there?"

"Uh-huh! I only came in here to play with Fai, but he was busy playing with Kuro-chi. I wanted to play, too, but Kuro-tan was being a mean doggie and yelled at me saying to go away! So I just decided to annoy him more which made Kuro-pipi grab Fai and lock me in here, saying something about respecting personal boundaries. I wonder what that means. Antwat, I got bored so since Kuro-rin and Fai were having so much fun with their game, I decided to try it too! Even though I only heard what sounds they were making, but it was probably wrestling and Kuro-puu was winning!"

"I remember now! Kurogane-san and Fai-san went to the market. I'm glad they're spending time together and that Fai-san isn't practicing self mutilating rituals. Aren't you, Syaoran-kun?"

Yes, he was still there. He honestly didn't know if he was glad or not. On one side, all the noises were just Mokona. On the other, it was mimicking them indicating that they had indeed done the dirty-dirty while his self and Sakura were in the house. It was no longer just a disturbing theory.

So as Syaoran obediently followed Sakura back down stairs, he reflected on how close her precious eyes had been to being destroyed and how, technically, her ears were still on the semi-pure side. It was a horrifying thought, really, and it was that day that Syaoran seriously considered just sticking the girl in a box. I mean, really, all he would have to do would be to keep track of the box and feed her and that would be it! But alas, he was forced to keep one eye and ear on her while the other eye and ear were on Fai and Kurogane. (2)

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**1.) **I wanted to have Syaoran kind of be like "What are you doing to my Mom?!", as in Fai. I think it's a bit cute in a I-know-that's-weird kind of way.

**2.)** I am fully aware of the strange "right eye" thing with Syaoran (I just read chapter 141 last Friday, so I KNOW), but I'm using it as just an expression

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	4. Death Match!

**Summary:** Kuro-woof is jealous! And it leads to a death match. WHOO!

**Date Written:** February 3, 2007

**Kalili:** Fai? Can I ask you a question?

**Fai:** Of course! What is it?

**Kalili:** Well, I was just wondering if you could maybe, STOP BEING EMO!

**Fai:** ... Excuse me?

**WARNING!** I use a naughty word in this one. –_politely covers mouth and looks away_-

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Lately, Syaoran had found Sakura and his self in odd situations. The latest installment, they were currently in what looked to be a Roman coliseum seated with the emperor of that world. Fai was purposely dangling over the edge of their balcony while Kurogane was the center of attention preparing to fight the emperor's son. Okay, so technically it was Kurogane and Fai who were in an odd situation, but Syaoran was still being forced to watch it.

Like many worlds before this, for some odd reason they had become acquainted with the royalty. The emperor had told them all about the place and that all citizens had some sort of magic inside of them, the royal family being the most powerful and only marrying those who have a large amount themselves. After saying that, Fai was immediately whisked away from the others to speak with the emperor's son while the rest of the group was inconspicuously sent to the servant house. They soon found out that the royal family (or "assholes" as Kurogane had dubbed them) had decided to wed Fai to their son. Kurogane got pissed without it actually looking like he cared about Fai, one thing lead to another and now there was a death match between Kurogane and the prince.

"Welcome to the fight of the decade!" the emperor announced, his voice echoing throughout the stadium. "I say that, because it shall determine my son and your future ruler's marriage!" The crowd let out a loud cheer. "His bride? The lovely and extremely powerful Fai!" Another, louder, cheer as he pointed Fai out. "However, this man" –he pointed accusingly down at Kurogane- "has objected to the wonderful decision!" This time, the crowd booed and a few brave souls threw some beer cans at him (missing). Kurogane just stayed calm, seeming to preserve his energy for the more important matter at hand. "Are the challengers ready?"

"Yes, your highness," the rather hot prince answered. "I am fully prepared to die for my beloved."

"How sweet," Fai muttered, less than half heartedly. "But really, can't we talk about this? A marriage can't work out properly unless both parties are communicating!"

"You are correct. We shall discuss this after I have slain this ogre and presented his head on a platter!"

"OGRE?!" Kurogane yelled, finally breaking his bad ass ninja cool. Fai just sighed and dropped his head out of exhaustion of having to try and politely break it to this prince guy that he really, REALLY didn't want to date royalty making marriage completely out of the question.

The guards had been brought out to hold Kurogane back as he was trying to attack the prince before the emperor said so. It took about fifteen of them hanging off of the ninja before they were finally able to at least have him just shuffling across the ground.

The prince, meanwhile, was just smirking at the display. Kurogane had already gone into an hour long rant the night before in his holding room about how the guy was a man-whore, a daddy's boy, and probably spent more time fixing his hair than training (let's just all believe that Kuro-wan wakes up with his hair 100 naturally spiky with four little hairs hanging just so in his eyes, okay?), but he was still finding stuff to yell at the guy. It was probably because the prince kept doing some hand motion to indicate a certain action with Fai.

Syaoran had told Sakura that it was customary in this world for the women to leave the stadium in order to make a basket of cookies for their favorite warrior. Now the god of that world must have actually liked him because she left and even took Mokona with her. Therefore, her pureness was preserved. For the most part. Now he just had to pray that Kurogane didn't get them all killed for him killing this world's prince.

"A few rules before we start. The prince, Alexander, is not allowed to use any forms of sorcery due to his opponent being retarded in that area." –ten more guards were added to keep Kurogane still- "In return, the gorilla is not to touch Prince Alexander's face for he might taint it with his monkey paws." Twenty-five plus twenty equals forty-five! "Now that that's settled, release the barbarian and let the match begin!"

Not one second later after the guards scrambled away from him, Kurogane had drawn his sword and was charging right to Alexander. Still with that stupid smirk, Alexander leapt into the air, taking out his own sword, and coming back down with the intent of slicing Kurogane in half. Had he not been a, "freakin' pansy" he might have succeeded. But Kurogane had seen that move coming and quickly dodged it and prepared for another.

The prince had gloating in mind, though. "I see that you actually can use that stick you call a weapon. Though, dearest Fai must be terribly disappointed in your technique."

That got the crowd yelling, "Oooh!" and "Oh no he di'n't!"

"I'm surprised you actually HAVE one," Kurogane said. He didn't really get the same response. He just got more beer bottles thrown at him for being "insolent." And he wasn't helping his situation by flicking them off.

"So Fai," the prince, meanwhile, was saying, now casually leaning in close to the mage, "where shall we go on our honey moon? Athens or Olympus? Of course, if you have any other ideas, I shall listen with utmost attention."

"How wonderful," Fai said, turning his head away to hide his face, which was currently similar to his hangover face.

"Get your ass back over here!" Kurogane shouted.

"How annoying," Alexander took on a look of disgust. He quickly replaced that, though, with one of immense charm as he turned back to Fai and took his hand. "It seems that our time has to be momentarily interrupted, Angel. But no matter, for that means that our next encounter shall be all the sweeter. Until that time, I leave you with this." That's when the proverbial shit hit the fan. His royal dumbass leaned forward and kissed Fai's hand.

After an eye bug, Kurogane threw his sword down (while still making sure it was okay) and shouted, "I'LL USE MY BARE HANDS TO KILL YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" And the chase began. It actually resembled that of a famous Kurogane/Fai chase, except that there was a lot of laughter by other parties. Alexander seemed to be mocking Kurogane which was making the guy even more pissed which made the idiot egg him on.

"Are you always like this or are you just angry that I'm going to be DOING what you've probably only dreamed of?" he yelled over his shoulder.

Then the thought to be impossible happened. Kurogane had become so consumed with anger, he had frozen in place. Silence followed this scene as everyone just looked on in wonder and the prince dared to get an inch away from his face for an inspection. Nothing.

"Seeing how my 'opponent' has ceased his movements," said Alexander, "I must declare myself the winner and claim my beautiful prize!" As the crowd cheered and Fai shuddered uncontrollably, the prince got down on one knee facing the poor mage and continued, "I wish to ask my love, Fai, if he would marr-!" He wasn't able to finish, though, since Kurogane's hand was gripping his neck and looking like he was not going to let go anytime soon. It was just loose enough so he could breath, but still unable to move. Kurogane took advantage of that and brought the guy closer to his self and began to speak to him. Even though everyone was quiet, nobody could hear what he was saying. Except for Syaoran.

"I advise you to listen and listen damn good to what I'm about to say because I am not going to repeat it! That little comment about doing Fai? I should skin you alive, cut off your dick, and make you choke on it for that! Only reason I'm not is because of some bitch's doing and honestly, you're not worth my time. You're just some pretty boy who's probably never even been laid! But if you really think that you can screw the guy harder than me, then go ahead and say it. I'll let you." (1)

Alexander appeared to have finally gotten his common sense, because even when Kurogane let him go, he just coughed and stared at him with his eyes wide, refusing to take the so-called offer. After a few minutes of that, he scrambled to his feet and announced in a shaky voice, "I-It has come to my attention that this marriage cannot be. You may be wondering why… It's because I-I like women."

There was a pause before the crowd began murmuring, "Okay", "Whatever" , "Sure, man."

Fai quickly recovered from his depression and leapt onto Kurogane's back singing, "I'm single! I'm single!"

Without a word, Syaoran got up from his seat and left the large dome to search for Sakura and Mokona. As he reflected on what he learned that day, he decided that he was probably getting used to the fact that Kurogane and Fai were in a "relationship" (albeit, it appeared to be unhealthy). But he just didn't need to know how hard Kurogane was able to screw Fai.

Mission/Part 2: Protect Sakura from ever hearing such words.

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**1.)** This was hard to write. And I know that it's kind of weird. But I needed Syaoran somehow scarred! That threat would probably scar SOMEBODY if they heard it! I know I disturbed myself when I came up with that part about the dick.

**A/N: Still accepting ideas!** Though, I do already have the next chapter in mind.


	5. Why Must They Drink?

**Summary:** Will Sakura finally know of the hot relationship of Kurogane and Fai?

**Date Written:** February 5, 2007

**Kalili:** This chapter felt like it went a little too fast. **OPINIONS PLEASE!**

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Things had been going surprisingly well for Syaoran as of lately. Yes, he noticed the occasional hickie, but Fai and Kurogane must have had a talk and decided to be more considerate of Syaoran and his tender age. At least, that was what he kept telling his self. Plus, there was evidence. There was not nearly as many innuendos being tossed back and forth, Fai did a more of actually TRYING to fend Kurogane off, and Kurogane was doing a fantastic job of keeping his hands to himself. Yes, Syaoran's life was being made much easier.

"I have an announcement!"

That is until the alcohol ban was temporarily lifted for Mokona's "birthday".

"What is it, Fai-san?" Sakura asked, two drinks having made her completely drunk and unaware of what was to come. Actually, she had really done a great job of building her liquor holding skills.

"It's nothing!" Syaoran shouted. "Princess, you should really get to bed, you've had a long day and-!"

"Mmmm, you have to guess!" Fai, equally drunk, commanded.

"Princess, please! Sleep is good and fun! Not to mention safe!"

"Ooooh, how fun! Doesn't that sound like fun, Mokona?"

"Fun, fun! Meaty bun!"

"Can you give us a clue, Fai-san?"

"Ummm, it has to do with me and Kuro-rin! Together!" As if to emphasize this, he laced his fingers together.

Syaoran was getting desperate. "I hate to have to take this tone with you, Princess, but it's for your own good. PLEASE, go to bed! I'm begging you!" He really was. The poor kid was on his knees and close to crying.

"Is iiiiiit, you and Kurogane-san, uuummm-"

"Starting a singing group?!" Mokona ended for Sakura.

"Nooo," Fai hummed.

"Oh! Oh!" Sakura seemed to have it. "I know! You two are going to take a vow to be best friends forever!"

"Close!"

"Why won't you listen to me, Princess?!" Syaoran was still yelling. "Did I do something to upset you? If so, please accept my humblest apologies! I'm not worthy of your presence!"

"Kid, what the hell are you doing?" Kurogane asked from behind him.

Some bit of his drunkenness must have had left him at that time because his mind suddenly registered that a hat stand was not Sakura just because it had Sakura's hat. The real Sakura was in the opposite side of the room along with Fai and Mokona.

"We give up, Fai!" Mokona sang.

"Please tell us!" Sakura added.

"Okay!" Fai cheered, standing up for a triumphant pose. "Kuro-tan and I are-!"

"Going to bed," Kurogane finished.

"That's not a secret!" Mokona protested. "You and Fai go to bed every night!"

"Oh well." He then slung a more than willing mage over his shoulder and left, adding, "I'll be back for the rest of you after I've strapped this idiot in." (1)

It seemed Kurogane was on Syaoran's side. Some what. Keeping his relationship with Fai secret was probably mainly Kurogane's issue, but it worked for Syaoran. Feeling rather peppy after that near heart attack, Syaoran felt it necessary to go do some sword training.

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**1.)** I know that those dirty minds out there were screaming "BONDAGE!" right there, but he's really making Fai out to be an escapee from an insane asylum who needs a straight jacket.

**A/N: Still accepting ideas!** (I REALLY liked **faithsangel**'s idea with Fai shopping with Sakura for naughty outfits! Though, I don't think I'll be doing the other one... sorry, but that would have scarred ME if my mind went into more details on the idea, no offense!)


	6. Shopping!

**Summary:** Syaoran goes shopping with Fai.

**Date Written:** February 10, 2007

**Kalili:** What is wrong with you people? That last chapter was horrible!

**Fai:** I guess that goes to show you, you shouldn't type your stories and publish them while you're on medication! Or read.

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The beginning of Syaoran's next discovery on the subject of the birds and the bees began with Fai being, quite literally, kicked out of the house the group was staying in by Kurogane. This week's reason was Fai learning a new song in the previous world (one of puppets(2)) which goes as followed:

"_This is the song that never ends!_

_Yes, it goes on and on my friend!_"

(I don't think I need to continue)

After about three times through, Kurogane got the impression that this song was not going to end. Deciding to skip all of the yelling and running around, no matter how fun it was, he just grabbed Fai by the collar and kicked him in the ass, sending the poor mage flying into the cold, cruel world, a Mokona being punted right after for daring to join in.

Syaoran was torn. As he gawked at this shockingly non-homoerotic display, he heard Sakura dozing in the living room. Though he wanted to stay and make sure she didn't go into sudden respiratory arrest, he felt bad for Fai's ass getting even more abuse… Okay, so maybe he didn't feel sorry for Fai's ass, but he definitely felt sorry for Fai's feelings. That made his mind go into some sob story of Kurogane forcing Fai to keep quiet about their actions and that he's really only using him for sex and that he's treating him like a toy and blah blah blah blah.

Taking a deep breath, the boy bowed to Kurogane and said that he was going to "hang out" with Fai for a while and to please take care of Sakura. Despite his previous thoughts, Syaoran currently trusted Kurogane with Sakura more than he trusted Fai. While Fai was able to give the girl some feminine influence, he felt that he would one day slip and talk about something weird, like how cute Kurogane's as – and he was going to stop that thought right there.

So off Fai, Mokona, and Syaoran skipped down throughout the busy town. Just before Syaoran thought that he was going to die of embarrassment, Fai suddenly stopped in front of a mysterious store. As he and the white bun giddily looked in the windows, Syaoran tried to make heads or tails of the sign. Predictably, he couldn't read the world's language, and there was nothing on the sign to give him an idea. Right before he was about to join the other two in looking at the merchandise in the window to figure it out (Syaoran loved to learn!), Fai scurried into the store with Mokona giggling, so Syaoran was forced to follow in order to avoid possible law suits.

It was a costume store. Very simple. Very Fai, if you thought about the two items together. He probably wanted something to play in and annoy Kurogane. Something like a ninja costume. Yes, that would get a lot of mileage, what with how much mocking could come from it. Syaoran actually began looking around for one to help Fai out since he wanted to cheer him up. However, two things ruined his mission. 1.) Fai didn't need any cheering up by the sound of his joy, and 2.) the only ninja costumes they had were skimpy ones labeled "Xena" that looked like they didn't even cover the butt. Something was wrong.

"Fai-san," Syaoran slowly began, "what is this place?"

"It's a shop for those who want their dreams fashioned into the finest handmade dresses and for those whose fashion dreams involve dressing as handmaids (1)," Fai calmly answered. "Or, at least that's what the shop owner told me!"

"I-I don't think I understand." If Fai was able to read between the lines, then he would have realized that Syaoran meant, "I don't think I WANT to understand."

"Oh, I think you understand completely!"

"Syaoran-kun is just too embarrassed to say!" Mokona cheered from atop Syaoran's head. He wasn't able to say it, but Mokona was right. Did that stop Fai from talking? If you think the answer is "yes" then you have not read a single volume of "Tsubasa Chronicles".

"Don't be silly, Syaoran-kun," Fai said, a sly smile appearing. "Kuro-pii and I are fully aware that you've known about us ever since you found out what a hickie was." –Oh, the memories.- "So we've seen little point in being as secretive around you. Don't worry, we'll explain it to Sakura-chan in good time! Right now, though, I want you to help me in choosing a cute costume! 'Why?' you may be wondering."

"Not real-"

"You see, sometimes in order to spice up a sex life, the two partners do something called 'role playing.' That is when they pretend to be people they're not in hopes of better stimulation. Allow me to give you an example." Fai quickly turned around and back, brandishing a costume that consisted of a blouse tied at the bottom and a plaid skirt. "This is a naughty school girl's uniform (I heard of this one a few worlds back). If I were to put it on, then Kuro-chi would then be the head master of the school and give me a spanking as punishment for being so dirty! It's just like playing pretend, only kinkier! It's quite common as you can see, and there are so many options! Nurses, maids, bunnies, secretaries, anything you want, though it is mainly a female dominated area for the dressing up part. It's a good thing I look hot in women's clothing! Can you imagine Kuro-puu in a dress? And don't worry, our sex life is fine! This just sounded like fun!"

Fai REALLY didn't have to worry about Syaoran's concern for how good their sex life was. "B-But why me?!"

"Well, I would have asked Sakura-chan, but I knew that you would be a bit uncomfortable with it and I want to surprise Kuro-sama so that leaves you!" Fai poked Syaoran's nose to punctuate that sentence, leaving Syaoran wondering if he would be able to see Fai as innocent as he appeared to everyone else ever again. "Actually, you are the best candidate for the job since you're a boy in love."

"… Why's that?"

"You can tell me what costume turns you on when you imagine Sakura-chan in it!"

Silence. Fai supposedly saw Sakura as a daughter, yet here he was encouraging Syaoran to have such dirty thoughts going through his mind about his pure, untainted princess?! The boy often wondered if Fai was considered normal in his own world, or was just as crazy there as he was with them. Well, Mokona seemed to love him. But Mokona didn't count!

"Fai, look at this one!" the meat bun suddenly squealed.

"Very nice!" Fai said. He then took it off of the rack and held it up to Syaoran. "And what does Syaoran-kun think?"

Before he was even able to start chanting a prayer to cast away such heathenness thoughts, they popped into his mind. The poor boy immediately got a very distinct image of Sakura in a short, frilly maid's uniform complete with cat ears, tail, and a collar with a little bell on it. What was even worse, was that there was a little picture nearby of what the completed outfit looked like. Turns out, there was a girdle for the leg, some fish net stockings, and a leash to go with the collar. And to top everything off, the position the model was in was what position imaginary Sakura took: on all fours, lips slightly parted, cleavage, and the dress just barely covering the butt.

Darkness.

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When Syaoran woke up, he found himself in a white room and in a bed. He slowly sat up to take a better look around. Mokona was fast asleep in his lap and his arm had an iv in it for blood. That's weird, he thought. I don't remember getting into a fight.

"Oh, good, you're awake!" Fai said as he entered the room. "You should lie back down, though. You lost a lot of blood."

"How?" Syaoran sighed, realizing that he was pretty exhausted.

"Substantial nose bleeding." Fai must have noted Syaoran's confused face because he continued, "It was in the costume shop when I showed you the kitty maid uniform. Remember?"

Perhaps Fai should have lied to him because all of the blood soon rushed to his face, causing the kid to fall back into his pillow.

"You know, you had a similar reaction in the store! Except with a lot more blood. Oh, and Kuro-daddy and Sakura-chan are on their way over, don't worry!" Before Syaoran was able to sit up again, Fai began to leave the room saying that he was going to get some juice and crackers. But just as Syaoran thought that he was going to be able to gather his thoughts and lower his embarrassment level a notch or two, Fai came back. "One last thing! Thank you so much for helping me with my shopping! I got the maid uniform since you seemed to like it so much. I hope Kuro-tan has a similar reaction, minus the passing out for obvious reasons!" Then with a wink, he was gone, leaving the poor boy with the Sakura maid image replaced with Fai wearing it and posing. This was followed by numerous hits on the head.

Syaoran wanted to scream. But he thought better of it since he was in a hospital. He'd have to scream later, into a pillow or something. Followed by a discussion with Fai and Kurogane on their public displays of affection, i.e. not pretending that they weren't doing it around him! Just because they deflowered him of his innocenct mind, they (well, more Fai) had no right to flaunt it!

New Mission: Stop the PDA! AT ALL COSTS!

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**1.)** And here's a little challenge for you reviewers/readers! **Whoever can tell me what manga I got this line from AND who said it, I will write their idea for chapter 8!** Sorry if it's one that some of you haven't read, but it's pretty popular from what I understand. Have fun!

**2.)** Who here remembers "Lambchop's Play Along"? Kalili does! That's where the song is from... I always wanted a Hush Puppy puppet, but Momma never got me one. I also remember being completely shocked when I found out that that lady was the one doing the voices. A few years later, I realized that it was obvious. -_sigh_- I still want a Hush Puppy... Well, that should give you people out there a good idea of my age!


	7. The Time has Come

**Summary:** Syaoran gives Kurogane and Fai a little talk.

**Date Written:** February 18, 2007

**Flo:** Yes, I have changed my pen name. Reason? A certain person whom I dislike has started calling me by my nickname (Kalili) so now I dislike it.

**Kurogane:** How reasonable.

**Flo:** Plus, I adore the name "Flo"! It's so cute! Flo, Flo, Flo! Might use it as my real authors pen name. Flo! Oh, and Bizet is the last name of the composer of the opera "Carmen." J'adore Habanera!

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"Fai-san… K-Kurogane-san… we need to talk," Syaoran ordered.

The two men in question looked at him as if he were some amusing court jester. Well, Fai did. Kurogane just looked at him as if he were on something. Both reactions Syaoran had predicted. Fai's especially since he sounded as though he were going to break up with them. Despite the strange line that spoke of bad things to come, they got up from the dining room table and followed Syaoran into the living room after dismissing Mokona, telling it to go and make potions with the bath salts and soaps that Yuuko had sent them ("Just because Sakura is surrounded by men, doesn't mean she has to smell them," she had said, looking directly at Kurogane).

Once seated, they looked at Syaoran expectantly. This was the part where the kid had been trying to figure out how to start this important discussion involving Kurogane and Fai's PDA (public display of affection) issues. What was preventing a proper start, though, was Kurogane. He knew the man hated anyone telling him what to do, so having some little boy demanding him to change something was most likely going to end badly. He doubted he would jump up and say, "I will fuck that guy whenever and wherever I so please, and no brat is going to say otherwise. Good DAY to you!" It was maybe closer to a glare that would make Syaoran wet himself, a quick decapitation, followed by a fuck with Fai in Syaoran's room. However, Syaoran's imagination had been getting away from him lately. Best not to trust it.

Fai's voice suddenly brought him back to reality. "Now if this is about the last feather's location, we've already apologized," he said. "How were we supposed to know Kitty's Korner was a strip club?"

"And I've already told you, mage, that you're a devious bastard," Kurogane growled. "You probably knew all along and just wanted a drink!"

"You shouldn't speak that way to me in front of the children, Kuro-daddy! It could damage their view on a proper parental relationship which could lead to abuse on Syaoran's part."

"Don't start that crap with me! If anyone is damaging the kid, it's you with that brilliant idea of taking him shopping for trampy costumes!"

"Hm, that's funny. You seemed to really enjoy the one I got. Especially the leash."

"Maybe because for once I was able to keep a hold of you."

"Aw, Kuro-chi wants to hold me!"

"No, this is not about the last feather being in a stripper's thong!" Syaoran broke in, face redder than a tomato. Perhaps that wasn't the best way to stop them from talking, because they were, once again, giving him weird looks.

"Then what?" Kurogane said, obviously annoyed already.

"I-It's about you and, uh, Fai-san… you know?"

"No, explain it!" Fai chirped.

"Yes, you do know!" Kurogane snapped, before turning back to Syaoran. "What about us?"

"Well…" Why is this so hard?! Syaoran thought. Kurogane's glare was getting sharper so he figured that since he couldn't protect Sakura if he was dead, he should suck it up and get this over with. "Could you two, um, pretend you aren't… you know?"

Silence.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to insult you two! I have the utmost respect for the both of you and accept that you have strong feelings for one another, it's just that Princess Sakura is so delicate and innocent and I just don't want her to be disturbed- NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT! You two being together, I mean! Iactuallyamgladthatyoucaresomuchforeachother,butuh,I-"

"Shut up."

"Yes sir."

"… Now, you're saying that you want the princess not to be 'disturbed'?"

"Yes sir."

"By us?"

"I-I didn't mean-!" Fai had moved next to Syaoran and quickly put his hand over Syaoran's mouth before he could dig his grave even deeper.

"Look, she's got to grow up some time."

"I agree!" Fai said, still preventing Syaoran from speaking. "Sakura-chan! Could you please come down here for a minute?"

Syaoran's eyes grew wide as he realized what was going on. He quickly looked to Kurogane and saw that he actually seemed to be relieved about what Fai was going to do. Perhaps this was all planned? Syaoran's respect for them grew a bit with that thought as he reflected on how clever it was. It was soon cast aside, though, as Sakura scurried in.

"Yes, Fai-san?" she said, appearing to just accept Fai holding Syaoran's head in place.

"We have something to tell you," Fai said. After a glance at Kurogane, probably to get some extra approval, he continued, "Kuro-la and I are dating!"

"Did you have to put it like some teenage girl?!" Kurogane shouted.

And what happened then? Well, in Tusbasa world they say, that Sakura's small fangirl gland grew ten sizes that day! And then the true meaning of shonen-ai came through, and the princess found the giddiness of ten fangirls, plus two! (1)

"Th-That's WONDERFUL!" she squealed with such a force Syaoran didn't know she was capable of. "I-I don't know what to say, except, I guess, congratulations!"

"We're not having a baby," Kurogane muttered.

It was left unheard, though, as Fai and Sakura started to chat excitedly about stuff Syaoran wasn't listening to. He was a little, well, pissed. He had spent so much of his time and energy trying to protect the girl from scarring since he had already been exposed to so much, but she was a-okay with it. Happy, even!

Kurogane must have read his thoughts from the look on Syaoran's face because he suddenly said, "Women are weird, kid. Get used to it."

Indeed he should.

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**1.)** Yes, that's from "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." All rights go to Dr. Seuss.

**A/N:** I really liked the idea of a fangirl Sakura. YOU ALL KNOW SHE WOULD BE LIKE THAT! Admit it! And I KNOW that all of you are thinking I should have had her scarred as well, but I think I kind of scarred Syaoran by having her being so accepting of it and being all giddy about it. Plus, that would be so predictable. -_shrug_-

**ALSO!** Interesting how many people actually participated in my little game. I'll have to do it again and think of something harder since EVERYBODY GOT IT RIGHT! It was Ayame from Fruits Basket. Yay, you guys!

**NEXT CHAPTER:** The winner's idea of Fai explaining the usefulness of whipped cream!


	8. Mm, mm, mm! Whipped Cream!

**Summary:** Fai explains to Sakura the many uses of whipped cream… or is it whip cream? –_shrug_-

**Date Written:** February 25, 2007

**Flo: **I KNEW I got that Sakura fangirl idea from one of my reviews! Credit for that goes to **Angelus diabolicus**! And this chapter is **Kaos-chan's** idea (sorry I couldn't fit in Syaoran getting another concussion! Hope Kuro/Fai action makes up for it!)! Last but not least, the costume one was** faithsangel's** idea (I had to switch it around a bit, though)! ON WITH THE STORY!

**NOTE:** You know, I actually had this as them just eating ice cream originally, but while I was helping my parents with some filing, my mom had one of her records playing and I have grown to love "White Rabbit" and was given some inspiration!

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They had split up for one hour. One. Hour. And already there was trouble. Kurogane mentioned how now they knew for a fact that leaving Sakura, Fai, and Mokona alone and searching for feathers separately was probably the most, and I quote, "retarded idea since offering a lap dance to that stripper in exchange for the feather." Syaoran agreed with a nod, too shocked to form words. Why? His princess was high!

"I don't know what really happened," Fai laughed. "We were in this biiiiig field, a-and we saw these people. Like, MOUNTAIN people! Right, Saky-chan?"

"Yeah!" she said, before going into a giggle fit saying, "You called me 'Saky-chan'!"

"Ee, hee hee! I did!" This left them in a heap on the floor, rolling around, laughing, and trying to count the rug fibers.

Apparently, Kurogane's patience lasted five minutes when it came to a high Fai (four minutes and thirty seconds more than somber Fai), because he hauled him up by the collar and growled, "Cut the crap and tell us what the hell happened!"

It seemed this command went in one ear and out the other, like so many before it. Of course, this was the first time Fai had been under the influence when Kurogane was ordering him to do stuff. "Wow, Sakura-chan! You look like an ant from all the way up here!"

"Meow!" said the ant.

"Shut up!" Kurogane yelled, proceeding to shake the man whom Syaoran could have sworn he had some strong feeling for. Perhaps is was more lust than love. Either way, Fai didn't seem to mind at all. He looked to be quite contempt with his head lolling back and forth.

"Mokona can tell you!" a happy voice said from a top Syaoran's head.

"But Mokona, aren't you, um… under the influence, too?" Syaoran asked.

"Nope! Yuuko made me immune since she smokes a lot! But Fai and Sakura were right about the field. There was a little fight going on and lots of torches were lit." As Mokona continued its tale, Syaoran noticed that Kurogane had dropped Fai and the mage had taken his princess into the kitchen. Figuring it was best to go by Kurogane's advice and never leave them to wander off (especially in their "condition"), he followed to add some supervision.

Already aware that they were coming down with the munchies, Syaoran was not at all surprised to see that the two had gotten into the whipped cream. No damage was really being done. Just some spills on the floor which would take no time to clean up. Syaoran actually felt guilty, because he thought that Sakura was acting very adorable, giggling and getting whipped cream all over her-dear god, if he didn't stop, he was surely going to lose his job as second in command of angst.

"Ne, Sakura-chaaaan?" Fai purred.

"Wah i' i', 'ai-an?" Sakura said through a mouth full of cream.

"I think that whipped cream is the best food ever! Ya' wanna know why?" Sakura nodded, very enthusiastic about learning. Not that she'd remember much afterward. "It's great for sex!"

Everything just seemed to be getting worse the longer Syaoran lived.

"Really?!" And Sakura just sounded so thrilled. "How so?!"

"Princess!" Syaoran interjected. "Would you, uh, like some, what are they called? Uh, cupcakes?"

"Uh-uh! I wanna hear how you use whipped cream in… what was it called, Fai-Fai?"

"Sex," Fai said.

Syaoran sighed in relief. He actually wasn't sure how much she knew about sex, even before the whole losing her memories thing. If she did, then perhaps she hadn't gotten that feather of when she was given "The Talk."

"It's actually very simple. All you gotta do is take the cream and… I should show you! Kuuuurooooo-riiiiiiin!"

Just because Sakura didn't seem to have any clue as to what Fai was talking about didn't mean he thought it was okay for her to hear it. And now High Fai had the brilliant idea of giving a demonstration. Syaoran was panicking. He then came up with the idea of building up all of his masculinity and get into a mind set like Kurogane's, which would then hopefully make them put the whipped cream down and go to sleep.

"Uh, you idiots…" And it was already a disaster. Not just because he had failed miserable in two seconds, but also because Fai was already dragging Kurogane into the kitchen.

"What do you want?" he asked. He was rubbing the side of his head, so Syaoran guessed that Mokona's story made no sense what-so-ever and that the meat bun was lying about being high. That's when another idea made itself known.

Running out of the kitchen, Syaoran found Mokona trying to free itself from one of ivy plants. "Mokona!" Syaoran exclaimed as he yanked it out. "You have to help me!"

"What did Kuro-puu do?" it asked, excitement of getting him in trouble clear in its face and voice.

"Nothing! It's Fai-san!"

"Really?! I knew that Kuro-myu was a bad influence!"

"No, it's the drugs! Drugs are the bad influence! Listen, you said that Yuuko gave you an immunity to that stuff, right?" It nodded. "Do you know a way to snap them out of it? It's important!"

"Yup!"

"Great! Come on!" Tucking Mokona under his arm, Syaoran raced back into the kitchen.

If only the boy was faster. Then maybe, just maybe, he would have been able to avoid seeing Kurogane licking whipped cream off of Fai's neck, little moans escaping the mage every so often. Sakura, meanwhile, had a rather goofy grin on her face and giggling up a storm. All Syaoran could do was stand there, mouth agape.

Fai eventually noticed him and said, "Oh, hello there Syaoran-ku-AH! Oooh, Kuro-tan! Do that again!" Kurogane must have obeyed, because Fai was soon panting and wrapping his legs around Kurogane's waist.

"Now, Mokona!" Syaoran shouted.

Moving quickly, Mokona leaped into the air doing a double flip before saying, "Super-extra-amazing-light-opening-sparkle-kick!" and tapping its foot on Sakura's head. There was a silent pause (aside from Fai whining for Kurogane to get back to –verb- ing him) as everyone looked at Sakura, waiting. Suddenly, her and Mokona burst out laughing, saying things about how they should save the world with their magic powers. So, yes. Mokona was high.

Poor Syaoran was left standing there, his princess on the ground suddenly really wanting to play with the whipped cream like Kurogane and Fai, and Kurogane still licking whipped cream off of Fai, this time his stomach.

All Syaoran could do was say one thing: "Why?"

Kurogane, the ever wonderful father of the group, caught this and paused in his journey down Fai to turn to him and say, "I'm horny and she's not going to remember anything. Now take the whipped cream and make a trail down the hall to her room."

"What about us, Kuro-pii?" Fai breathed.

"How's chocolate sound?"

"OH!" Sakura said. "You can use chocolate for sex, too?! Show me, Fai!"

"Later!" Syaoran yelled, as he did as instructed making a whipped cream road to Sakura's room. Sakura obediently followed, finding whipped cream off of the floor was the best thing in the world and ignoring Fai's announcement of how incredibly large Kurogane is. He was more focused on trying to suppress this memory and was just extremely grateful Sakura wouldn't remember a lot of this.

However, if he was smart, he would have checked her pockets to make sure the camera a Tomoyo had given her had not been used. Poor boy.

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**A/N:** This turned out dirtier than I thought it would. I wish I could have done more with the whipped cream, but alas. By the way, I would love it if when you review, you tell me your favorite line of the chapter you're reviewing!

You know what to do!

Please leave a review!

As always, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism and suggestions for later chapters are welcomed with the pictures Sakura took!


	9. Desperate Measures

**Summary:** Syaoran has had enough.

**Date Written:** February 28, 2007

**Flo:** Waiting to read chapter 145… -_sigh_- **How about I tell you guys a Tsubasa theory of mine?** It's a bit crazy, but I seriously think that Kurogane's dad is alive! DON'T LEAVE! Listen, in my observance of many forms of action entertainment, you can't say someone is dead until you have seen the ENTIRE DEAD BODY! All we saw was his arm, and someone could have cut it off in order for Kurogane to get his sword… Now, wouldn't it be so sweet to see Father Son bounding between them? –_sparkle eyes_- Of course, I won't be at all surprised if I'm totally wrong. Still. –_sigh_- So cute! That would be a good fanfiction if I felt like writing a serious one.

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Enough was enough. For too long Syaoran had endured being the witness to Kurogane and Fai's insisted PDA. No amount of talking sense into them or being sent to the hospital for sever blood loss through the nose could make them realize he was not in any way shape or form comfortable with the current relationships. He realized he sounded a bit homophobic, but he actually didn't mind small pecks on the cheek or some cuddling (all on Fai's part). He found it nice that they didn't hate each other, no matter how much Kurogane tried to prove they did. It was when they got drunk or something and started to "get it on" on the table, or against a wall, or on the couch, or on the floor, or in a closet, or on the washing machine, or in an elevator, or in one of those public baths, should he go on?

There was also the language part. Yes, Kurogane never really spoke as if he were in church, but these new things just weren't working out.

Things Said by Kurogane(-san), listed by Syaoran

1.) "If you weren't a good fuck, I'd kill you."

2.) "Quite being a damn tease and get down there."

3.) "Look, I can either rape you or you can just drop your pants. You decide!"

4.) "No, you cannot be on top!" (Syaoran missed the innuendos.)

Fai's vocabulary had expanded as well, but the only disturbing thing he had heard him say was, "Ravish me, you filthy beast!" when Syaoran was just going to bed.

Sakura was no longer a problem when it came to things. Hell, she loved them! She couldn't get enough of the constant flirting from Fai and how Kurogane was always so "shy." She even offered Kurogane some flowers to give to Fai. Reason? "Just because!" So Sakura was out of the picture when it came to worrying about her innocence. He figured she was too innocent to be scarred by such things, anyway. It was just him. Syaoran. And the boy was desperate.

"Let me get this straight," Yuuko said as Mokona projected her image to a mirror. "You want me to erase your memories of Kurogane and Fai's intimacy?"

She had a good way of putting it, Syaoran had to give her that. If only she wasn't saying it with that smirk on. "Yes, ma'am," Syaoran said.

"And why, pray tell, would you want that?"

"For the love of god, can you or can you not do it?!"

Yuuko looked startled for a moment at that outburst, but quickly returned to normal. "Let me guess. You can't handle two men being in love. Is that it?" Syaoran didn't know what to say to that. Yuuko sighed. "Men have always been the more difficult gender when it came to acceptance of how hot two guys making out is."

"W-What?!"

"Yes, I can do it. I take it you are prepared for a price?"

"… Um, yes ma'am."

"Very good. Your price is…"

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This couldn't be happening. There was no way in any world they have or will go to that Syaoran was in this situation. Why did Yuuko insist on his price being him providing her with gay porn, featuring Kurogane and Fai?! How was he ever going to obtain that? Okay, so he knew exactly how to obtain it. He was really more worried on the actual object and of course if he got caught. He didn't know which one was worse. Both caused death. Though, the first one would be erased from his memories, so he chose to take his pride and just swallow it like a man and… oh god.

While Fai dragged Kurogane out to the market for food and Sakura was in the kitchen with Mokona, Syaoran snuck into Sakura's room and took a video camera a Tomoyo had also given her (something about camera messages, but the connection would probably fail while going through different worlds). After making a solemn vow to repent for breaking one of his personal seven deadly sins, he used his ninja training to creep down the hall and into Kurogane and Fai's room. It took about fifteen minutes to find a place that Syaoran thought would get a good angle of the happenings, and also because his fingers were shaking.

He then went back to his room to sit and stare at the wall since that seemed to be the only 100 percent pure thing in his life. Except, then he remembered how many times he heard sexual noises coming from way too close to his wall and that walls connect to each other. Oh, how he disturbed himself.

Syaoran didn't even come out of his room for the rest of the night, not even to get rid of a cockroach for Sakura, there by breaking another one of his personal seven deadly sins. But how could he face Fai and Kurogane after he committed such a violation of their privacy? Well, it was too late to go back. Besides, if they didn't find out, then they never would and he wouldn't be living with the guilt since he wouldn't remember it. And then THAT made him feel guilty.

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"Mokona, can you send this to Yuuko?" Syaoran asked the next morning after he deemed it safe to come out of his room.

"What is it?" Mokona asked. "And why does Syaoran has bags under his eyes?"

"Um, insomnia." It wasn't a complete lie. "And this is something top secret for only Yuuko to see. And you wouldn't want Yuuko to be mad at you if you found out, right?" Mokona quickly shook its head at that and proceeded to suck the tape into its mouth. Not soon after, Yuuko's image was on the nearby mirror again.

"I've done your" DIRTY! "deed," Syaoran said to her.

"Very good," Yuuko said, grinning like a Cheshire cat while handling the video tape as if it were gold. "I'll get back to you later!"

"WHAT?! WAIT!" But it was too late. The connection was cut, leaving Mokona hopping in Syaoran's lap asking why he was upset.

"Was that in exchange for a wish?" it asked. All Syaoran could do was nod. "She might be examining it to make sure it's the proper price. Don't worry, she'll come back!"

"Thanks," Syaoran mumbled, hanging his head.

On the plus side, from his inability to get to sleep because of the guilt nearly crushing his lungs, Syaoran was able to say for a fact Kurogane and Fai "got it on." More than once.

**TBC**

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

**A/N:** Yup! It's a two-parter!


	10. Jiminy Cricket is a Liar!

**Summary:** Will Syaoran's wish be granted?

**Date Written:** March 8, 2007 (I seriously wrote this in thirty minutes!)

**Fai:** Hey, Flo. I have a question.

**Flo:** What? Why the hell do we have to learn logarithms in school when the only thing I've heard of using them for was to save the Apollo 13 and I highly doubt that when I'm a writer/chef, NASA is going to call me up and tell me to solve some logarithmic equation in order to save Apollo whatever?! Is that your question!?

**Fai:** -_adorable confused grin_- No, I was reading your other stories and wondering why this Muraki guy gets so many more lines than me in your authors notes.

**Flo:** Oh… I don't know.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Syaoran didn't leave his room all day, feigning stomach virus. He just prayed that Kurogane and Fai would take a break in their activities to realize if Sakura was about to drown in a diluted pool of acid. Syaoran shook his head and reminded himself to get a hold of his imagination. It was getting way too far out there and he hoped it wouldn't go into his dreams which could lead to some disturbing ones, especially with the sounds of Kurogane and Fai in the other room. Darn the constantly thin walls!

The day eventually turned dark, sending Mokona bouncing in saying that it thought that Yuuko was probably done with evaluating his payment. The normal beam of light came out of it's forehead, but they were not met with Yuuko's face. Instead, it was a boy with glasses yelling at them to leave him alone so he can finish dinner.

"Um, is there another Mokona or something?" Syaoran asked, the comical sweat drop making its presence known on the side of his head.

The boy stopped abruptly in his rant and looked at them as if he had just noticed there were there. "Oh, I'm sorry!" he said. "Syaoran, right?"

"Yes?"

"Do you need Yuuko for something?"

Syaoran suddenly remembered him from when they first arrived at Yuuko's shop, and since he seemed to have chilled now (maybe the guy has a bipolar disorder?), he took this as an okay to talk to him. "Yes, it's concerning my wish. I gave her the payment this morning and Mokona says that now might be an okay time. Is it?"

Something seemed to register on the boy's face there, because his eyes grew a bit bigger and he suddenly looked a bit nervous. "Ooooh… Are you sure?"

"Yes, it's very important. Why? Is something wrong?"

"… Well… She's not in her best mood right now, and that kind of has something to do with you. So, you might want to check in later when she's cooled down a bit and-"

"Watanuki!" Yuuko's voice shouted. "Who are you talking to when you're supposed to be getting me more sake?!"

Watanuki flinched a bit at that, but then took on a slightly annoyed looked and said to Syaoran, "See?"

Syaoran nodded. Maybe he was right. Perhaps he should call back later. No. He couldn't. He didn't want his mind to be any more polluted than it had to be since Kurogane and Fai were stubborn bastards when it came to making appropriate times and places for sex! "Normally, I would take that advice, but this is of dire importance."

Watanuki sighed before muttering, "It's your funeral. I'm talking to Syaoran, Yuuko-san!"

In the background you could hear quick footsteps getting louder and louder, until the form of Yuuko brutally shoved Watanuki aside into the kitchen sink, and was seen brandishing Syaoran's payment: the porno.

"This is the WORST example of hard core man love I have ever had the misfortune of seeing!" she yelled. "It's not even amateur!"

Syaoran's fear had come to life. They must have decided that the bed was way too common a place for their romp and decided to be creative and done it somewhere else… Yeah, Syaoran was not going to touch anything until they left this world. But that thought could wait. He had a pissed Dimensional Witch bitching at him. "I'm sorry, but-!"

"Let me guess. You didn't have the balls to ask them if you could film them so you tried to hide it in their room in hopes of getting it on surveillance?"

"Yes." He hung his head in shame at his less than amateur filming skills.

Yuuko sighed. "It's okay, I understand. Same thing happened to me the first few times with my boys." Syaoran thought he heard a very shrill "WHAT?!" come from the sink area in her kitchen. "It's takes a while to get a good angle, but you'll get the hang of it."

"So, does that mean I still get my wish?"

"Hell no! In order for me to erase memories of Kurogane and Fai having sex, you have to provide me a memory of it! In other words, a tape. No tape, no mind swipe. Right, Mokona?"

"Right!" it said. Syaoran froze when he realized Yuuko had never told it to go to sleep, so it knew everything. And it was looking at him, too! "Syaoran's a dirty boy!"

"Yes, an incompetent dirty boy," Yuuko agreed. "Good luck with acceptance!"

And then she was gone, leaving Syaoran to hold his tears back with the meat bun using one of it's 108 special techniques, which was apparently imitating porno music. Syaoran over looked this, and hugged Mokona as he laid down to go to sleep. He was going to need something to keep the nightmares away.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

**A/N: Still looking for ideas!** Though I do have three ideas already. The next one I can definitely say is going to be posted this Sunday. Why can I say that? Well, you'll just have to wait and see. In the meantime,

You know what to do!

Please leave a review!

As always, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcomed with Fai being your best friend for the whole day! Come on, who doesn't want that?


	11. Damn Microwave

**Summary:** What you've all been waiting for.

**Date Written: **March 11, 2007

**Flo:** -_yawns_- I'm bushed. I have never been so stressed out and it's been effecting my sleep. SO, Fai! Take my Algebra III tests for me for the rest of the year!

**Fai:**… What's Algebra?

**Flo:** DAMNIT!

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Syaoran-kun?" Sakura's timid voice rang.

"Yes, Princess?" Syaoran ever dutifully answered.

"I think I did something wrong. There's smoke coming out of the micro… wave?"

Dropping his book, Syaoran rushed to her side to find that yes, there was smoke emanating from the depths of the strange box. Specifically, the vents. The mico-thingie wasn't even opened. Syaoran knew the contraption would bring evil upon them, just as Kurogane had stated after he had put some foil in it (1&2).

"The box said to not put them in the oven and not that box thing," Mokona explained as Syaoran made sure there was no fire. "But it takes so long in there and this box is a lot faster! Then for some reason, it started to smoke."

After pushing the stop button, Syaoran turned to Sakura and said, "Don't open this, yet, just in case. I'm going to get Kurogane-san and Fai-san. In the meantime-MOKONA, NO!"

But it was too late. Mokona had chosen not to take Syaoran's advice and opened the micro-whatcha-ma-call-it, unleashing a horrid cloud of black smoke to descend upon the unsuspecting victims.

"Why did you open it?!" Syaoran exclaimed, trying his best to keep calm.

"Mokona wants to eat the crab won tons!" it defended. However, the won tons were deemed inedible later on by the adults, just because they were charcoaled and able to cause a pretty bad mark if you threw one at Kurogane's head.

"Okay, everyone stay calm!" Everyone in the room was calm, except for Syaoran. The kid was trying, though! It wasn't everyday your princess caused a large amount of smoke to fill your house with who knows what kind of chemicals floating around in it. "Princess, take Mokona and go outside. I'm going to get Kurogane-san and Fai-san's advice on this."

"Are you sure?" Sakura asked, worry clear in her eyes.

"Yes, Princess. Don't worry about me. Now go!"

As Syaoran gently guided Sakura and Mokona out of the house, Sakura protested, "Actually, I was more worried about you walking in on them while their, um… 'busy.'"

Let's back track here. Mokona had spilled the beans to everyone about Syaoran wishing to have his memories swiped of Kurogane and Fai's sex life, but luckily was able to stop it from saying anything about the tape. Anyway, the two in question had, "no idea that poor Syaoran-kun was so disturbed!" So, even though that was a blatant lie, Fai came up with the idea to set up a calendar of when they were doing it in the middle of the day so the children would not, "walk in on Mommy and Daddy and get any ideas for themselves." It actually never passed with Kurogane, so Fai had to plan it in secret and told Syaoran, Sakura, and Mokona that, "Daddy is shy and feels it inappropriate for his kids to know about their parents having sex, so let's all keep this a secret from him, okay?" Syaoran's respect and gratitude for his teacher grew even bigger that day. He seemed to have forgotten how blunt Kurogane was when he wanted Fai, though.

And though it was still very weird for him to be aware of whenever they were doing it and he hated to say stuff like that, he said to Sakura, "Fai informed us that that would be at 7:00, and it's 6:00 right now. Don't worry!" He still couldn't say that without blushing.

Quickly going back into the house, he didn't hear Sakura trying to get his attention again. It didn't even register that she was until he was at Kurogane's door. I guess she can wait, he reluctantly thought. I hate to admit it, but as long as she's safely outside then I'm more worried about our house burning down right now… But what if she gets kidnapped and forced into a life of slavery for fat old men?!

Slapping himself across the head, Syaoran knocked on the door. No answer. He tried again with the same results. He then gasped as a realization came to mind. What if they're dieing of smoke poisoning?! he thought.

Wasting no time, the brave youth threw open the door with the courage of a great warrior. He soon turned into an embarrassed teenager as he realized that they were in no way dieing. Let's just cut to the chase, shall we?

They were doing the dirty-dirty. Tongues were everywhere, and even though Kurogane still had his jeans on, Fai didn't and his legs were being used to hoist his hips up to grind against Kurogane's. As the larger man started to work his hands down on Fai, he suddenly stopped. His eyes then slowly shifted in Syaoran's direction, and all the boy could do was hold back his screams of, "Please don't kill me!"

But all he saw Kurogane do was have an eyebrow twitch.

Meanwhile, Fai opened his eyes to look at Kurogane and panted, "Why did you stop?" Another eyebrow twitch. Curious, Fai turned his head to look where he was looking. "Syaoran-kun!"

"I'm sorry!" Syaoran shouted. That's all his body seemed to allow him to do at that moment, though. Well, aside from a stirring in his pants. (3)

Tossing the blanket over Fai's lower part, Kurogane growled, "Why the hell didn't you knock?" He was obviously trying to be patient, God bless the man. (4)

Taking a deep breath, Syaoran turned his eyes on the wall and said, "I did, but you two didn't answer."

"Wasn't that a clue that we were busy?" This was a shocking turn of events, except for the part where Syaoran had obviously gotten on the ninja's bad side. And you don't want to be on a bad ass ninja's bad side. Especially when he's your teacher.

"Well, ah, you see, the micro-oven started to smoke and-"

"Really?!" Fai cut in. He started to get out of bed to check things out, but Kurogane grabbed him and shoved his head down.

"Idiot! Get some clothes on first!"

"It appears that you want me to take care of you first, eh, Kuro-chi?"

"No! That's completely gone now thanks to the kid barging in on us!"

"Don't be too hard on him. It was for a good cause! But unlike you, I am still very much in need of assistance. If you would be so kind, Kuro-woof?"

"Not in front of the kid, damnit! How many times have we been through this?!"

"That reminds me! Syaoran-kun, didn't you know from the schedule that we would be horny at 7:00 tonight?"

"WHAT?!"

"Y-Yes," Syaoran whispered. "But it's only 6:00."

"No, it's… Ooooh. Funny thing! In this world, daylight savings time has started! You turn your clocks one hour ahead!"

What the hell?! Syaoran thought. He couldn't form anymore words after that, he was seriously pissed. Of course, he would never let it show on his face. Instead, he stumbled out of their room and down the steps, still hearing Fai calling after him that he'll be down as soon as he's down.

Just then, the smoke alarm went off.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

**1.)** We all know that when they come (or came) across a microwave, Kurogane's going to be the first to put foil or metal inside of it.

**2.)** This is based off of a true story. My sister seriously put some crab won tons in the microwave against the box's directions for 10 minutes since it takes 20 in the oven. Not 5 minutes later, there's smoke coming out of the vent and the smokes detectors are going off, and our house smelled horrible for a week. Oh, this was also after she came back from UGA after getting her classes.

**3.)** At that age, you get turned on by ANY kind of sex.

**4.)** I haven't explained that I see Syaoran looking at Kurogane with an enormous amount of respect. I think it's pretty obvious that he does, and plus it's so cute!

**A/N:** Yes, he finally walked in on them all because of daylight savings time. Wonder if that's cross dimensional.


	12. The Consequences of Microwaves

**Summary:** A fight between Fai and Kurogane!

**Date Written:** March 25, 2007

**Flo:** YAYS! I'm turning 18 tomorrow! AND, chapter 148 is coming out this week, I got new cute clothes, Spring Break is next week, and Easter is in two weeks and I'll be able to eat chocolate again! PARTY TIME! –_commences dance mode_- Move it in! Move it out! Shove it iiin! Round n' bout!

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

It had been a long day. A very, very long day. Make that days. It just felt like the singular form since after the microwave/walk in incident, our brave hero avoided contact with his "parents" for three days straight. Whenever he saw one, he would stutter an excuse and run. After day one, he actually dropped the excuse and all together just ran or hid. Reason one was that every time he saw Fai, he saw a… not clothed Fai. The image was forever branded into his skull jumping out every five minutes just to embarrass the boy. Why would it be embarrassing when it was just an image that nobody else knew he was thinking about? Plain and simple, it was a huge turn on.

Reason two: Kurogane, of course. It was bad enough Syaoran had dreams of the man completely violating his mother figure, but he was still expected to do his training! Now, he knew his duties, the highest of which being protecting Sakura. But it's really hard to concentrate when whenever your teacher growls something at you, your mind immediately goes to when you heard and saw him growling on top of a naked Fai, which leads to your pants turning too small. There was also the fact that Kurogane was super pissed. Syaoran's training had suddenly become more, how to put it? Life threatening. This thought occurred to him while he was doing what he was told to do and meditating in the middle of a crocodile pit. It could have just been his over-active imagination, though.

It wasn't until the fourth day, however, that he realized he was actually sharing Kurogane's wrath. With who? you might be thinking. Or not, because I think we're all big enough "Tsubasa" fans to know that it was Fai. Over what? Making the children aware of the exact day and time Fai was planning on being horny. Mokona had informed Syaoran that many battles had been waged, and so far Kurogane was in the lead for complaining about how small Fai's hands were. That morning was quiet, though, and so everyone (i.e. Syaoran, Sakura, and Mokona) was assuming things were at a standstill. That meant things would most likely escalate.

Cut to dinner, where Syaoran made sure to keep his eyes on his food and only look in the direction of Sakura's voice when being addressed by her. This proved to be the wrong course of action because such actions and the constant picking of his food caught Fai's attention.

"Syaoran-kun?" he said.

"Yes, Fai-san?" Syaoran answered, amazed he didn't stutter. He must have been getting good.

"Is something wrong? Let me take a look at you."

Unable to say no for lack of a good excuse, Syaoran slowly looked up and let out an exasperated sigh at the sight of a naked and sweaty Fai.

"You're face is all red," Fai commented. "Maybe you have a fever. Let me check."

The heat was not so much in his forehead as it was in another place. And Fai's body leaning over to his was in no way helping his growing "fever." Desperate, Syaoran shifted his eyes away, only to be met with Kurogane glaring. He wasn't sure if it was directed at him, but that didn't really matter because since due to Fai's non-attire, Kurogane matched with (thank God) jeans. They were both in sex mode in Syaoran's eyes, and as he frantically tried to make it look as though he was not turned on, Mokona began to sing.

"Move it in! Move it out! Shove it iiin! Round n' bout! Disco lady!" (1) Oh, what a horrible picture it was to see Mokona in a little high chair swinging it's spoon around and singing about moving things in and out and somehow being able to add that disco sound to it. Or sex sound. And now not only was Syaoran going to have to gauge his eyes out, he was also going to need to break his ear drums.

"What a nice song, Mokona!" Fai said, hand still on Syaoran's forehead. "I'd ask where I could get it, but I seem to currently have no use for it. Isn't that right, Kuro-myu?"

Suddenly, it was on.

"Well, maybe you would if you weren't so set on killing things," Kurogane mumbled.

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean? That I'm too good with my wand that I 'kill you'?" Why was Fai's hand still on Syaoran's head? He was pretty sure that it did not take that long to see if he had a fever or not!

"Hardly. You wouldn't be able to kill anyone with that sad excuse for a wand!"

"You're one to talk. You have no idea how to use yours!"

"You have a wand, Kurogane-san?" Sakura asked, eyes all sparkly. "I didn't know you knew how to use magic!"

"Oh, Sakura-chan," Fai began, "I wouldn't exactly call his use of it 'magical.'"

"Which is why I stick with my sword," Kurogane said. "It hurts, and I can tell, what with your screaming."

"You've actually hurt Fai-san?!" Sakura asked, horrified (Syaoran was wondering if there was any polite way for him to tell her to please keep her mouth shut).

"Yes. But he enjoys it, so everything's fine." Sakura looked confused.

But Syaoran was able to tear his eyes away from Fai's rather nice, uncovered legs to look at his face. At their close proximity, he noticed Fai's eyebrow twitch just ever so slightly. Something told him that that was bad.

"Oh, Kuro-wan wan!" Fai giggled. "You know I only make those sounds to make you feel better about your skills!"

"Is that so?" Kurogane growled. "Then I guess we won't have anymore sparring practices since you think I'm so unskilled, huh?"

"I-I wouldn't go that far! After all, practice makes perfect!"

"I disagree. We've been practicing for months and you haven't improved at all."

Just then, Syaoran saw something flash in Fai's eyes that he was pretty sure he never wanted to see again. Slowly, Fai turned to Sakura with the sweetest smile on and said, "Sakura-chan, you and I need to get you some more lotion when we go to market tomorrow!"

"Why?" Sakura asked. "Didn't we just get an entire bottle yesterday?"

"Well, yes, but Kuro-perv used it all!" Zang Zadamn!

In less than two point five seconds, Kurogane have leapt over the table and was chasing Fai out of the dining room to the upstairs. It seemed they were going to settle some things. Meanwhile, after seeing a naked Fai run away, Syaoran's fever had peaked and he desperately needed to cure it. With his backed turned away from his princess, he excused himself and went to go say his abc's to avoid any dirty-ness.

Poor Sakura was so confused. Luckily, Mokona was there and still singing!

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

**1.)** That song is "Disco Lady" by Johnnie Taylor, I think. My mom played it to me on her record player and the both of us started to laugh at how suggestive the chorus is! The rest is fine, it's just that one part about moving or shoving stuff in and out! I thought it would be cute if Mokona sang it!

**A/N:** I really wanted to do another innuendo thing, so I came up with this, but needed something to lead into it, hence, the last chapter! And daylight savings was the perfect excuse for Syaoran to walk in on them without knocking. Not as good as the first innuendo chapter, but still fun (I freaked myself out with the lotion jab!).


	13. What the Fudge?

**Date Written: **April 25, 2007

**Summary:** What is UP with Kurogane?

**Flo:** This unbelievable. Completely unacceptable. How dare they! How dare that-!

**Fai: **Now, Flo, it's just one review

**Flo:** OFFICE BITCH ASSIGN ME A DETENTION! It's ME!

**Kurogane: -**_stomps barely burning review out_**-** So it's not a flame?

**Fai:** She doesn't appear to be taking it as one. Actually, she said she was complimented at being called a lady and that it's a shame they had to end on that chapter.

**Kurogane:** Yeah, she actually has come up with something that is NOT about our sex life.

**Fai:** AHA! You admit it! But, yes! I greatly enjoy this chapter!

**Kurogane: -**_looks suspicious_**-** Why?

**Flo:** Only four more weeks until I get out of this hell and the whore gives me detention?! Aaaah!

**Fai:** No reason. Enjoy!

**REQUEST!** If you have a problem with something I've said or are insulted for some reason, please make it so I can respond, because as previously mentioned I don't really get insulted. I might be able to explain some misconceptions or something, okay? Thank you!

**WARNINGS!** A bit more bad language.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Fai-san?" Sakura asked, while the two of them were fixing lunch. "Do you know where Kurogane-san and Mokona went? I can't find them anywhere and lunch is almost ready."

"You mean you don't know?" he asked. His face was actually a little surprised at that.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you see, I kind of… don't know. Syaoran-kun!"

Syaoran looked up from his book that he was reading instead of helping with lunch like a true gentleman and said, "Yes, Fai-san?"

"Did Kuro-rin say he was going out somewhere?"

"I didn't hear him leave at all."

"How odd. They must have decided to spend some quality time together, but Kuro-puu was too shy to tell anyone. He's so sweet!"

As Sakura nodded with great enthusiasm at this, Syaoran returned to his book. He hated to say it, but he doubted Kurogane would ever be considered "sweet," unless he fell in a large pool of some sugary substance. But he shrugged it off and let Fai dream. Which arose a question: why in the worlds would those two get together? Were the both of them masochists? He started to feel sorry for Fai (again) since he appeared to be the only one trying to make their relationship work.

Before he could further his relationship analysis practice, the door opened revealing the subject of curiosity… carrying a bouquet of red roses. Mokona was also there, giggling it's head off as it sat on Kurogane's. And Kurogane was perfectly content. Serene, even. With no trace of a scowl at all. Something was wrong.

"Kuro-tan!" Fai exclaimed, running towards him with open arms. "You're alive!"

"Of course I am," Kurogane said, completely calm. Where was the obligatory "idiot" at the end of that statement?

Fai stopped dead in his tracks. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, now that I'm with you again." And he smiled, a non-I'm-happy-because-I'm-going-to-kill-you smile.

The soup began to bubble over, but Sakura paid it no head. Syaoran dropped his book, it's thump the only sound in the room.

"Really?" Fai said. His arms had dropped and he now had an extremely confused look on his face.

"Why would I lie to you?" Kurogane proceeded to scare everyone by holding out the bouquet to Fai. Fai slowly took the flowers and looked at them. Then at Kurogane. Then the roses again. Seeming to have made his decision, he promptly threw his arms around Kurogane, nuzzling his cheek against the other's.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, Kuro-love! They're absolutely gorgeous! But what's the occasion?"

"No occasion. I just felt that I haven't properly shown you how much I love you."

It was a good thing that lunch hadn't been served, yet. If so, obvious results would occur. Mokona had decided to let the love birds gush with out it's fluffiness interrupting anything, so it moved to Syaoran.

"Isn't it great?" it asked Syaoran. "When Kuro-myu ran off while we were playing tag, he must have gotten some sensitivity training! He really wanted to come back to see Fai!" It leaned over to then whisper, "The flowers were Mokona's idea, but Kuro-rin decided on roses by himself!"

Syaoran just gaped. His bad ass ninja teacher was currently holding and kissing Fai's hands! Not that there was anything wrong with it… no wait. There was something very wrong with it! Kurogane did not do that! If he ever went to sensitivity training, he'd probably take it the same way as an interrogation and resist all forms of torture. Then again, Fai seemed quite happy. As did Sakura.

"What beautiful roses!" she squealed. "Kurogane-san, that's such a sweet thing to do for Fai-san!"

The entire rest of the day was like that. Kurogane putting his arms around Fai in a non-let's-do-it manner, giving him little pecks on the cheek, saying how gorgeous he was every hour on the hour, and offering to help out with the house hold chores in order for Fai to, "not ruin your perfect skin with such manual labor." Meanwhile, Fai, Sakura, and Mokona were eating it up.

Poor Syaoran was left alone in his thoughts on how wrong everything was. Even worse, his training session was cut in order for his teacher to give Fai a foot massage!

Dinner was probably the most unbearable, though. They fed each other and made googley eyes all throughout the meal. They did have a little spat, but that was over who loved the other more. Along with Eskimo kisses (Syaoran remembered Fai trying to introduce the concept to them a few worlds back, but Kurogane had vehemently opposed such actions of nose rubbing). Oddly enough, there was no thumping against his wall that night. Not that he was complaining.

That didn't keep him from going completely numb the next day after Kurogane suggested they have a "family outing" to the park, though. Fai, Sakura, and Mokona had agreed whole-heartedly while our determined youth swore he saw his life flash before his eyes. He had absolutely no idea how he got to the park. He just suddenly found his self feeding ducks with Sakura and Mokona while Fai and Kurogane were snuggling on a bench.

As Mokona was trying to ride one of the ducks, Syaoran did some reflecting. Yes, his teacher was now… sensitive, let's just say, but now Fai was in a healthy relationship that didn't have the suspicion of abuse behind it. They both seemed to be quite happy from the way they were holding hands, which was what mattered most, right? Besides, Kurogane had felt very bad about Syaoran missing his sword training that he had promised a double session that very day, so now the protection of his princess wasn't in danger. And Sakura seemed especially happy about things.

"Fai," he heard Kurogane begin, "I love you more than life itself."

"Really?!" Fai squealed.

"Yes, and I would like to ask you something very important."

Fai cocked his head to the side and the children and Mokona had turned their attention from duck abuse to find their token ninja getting down on one knee, holding Fai's hand. "Why, Kuro-tan!" Fai said, a faint blush on his cheeks. "What's this all about?"

"Fai D. Flowright, will you marr-"

He was never able to finish that request due to his head getting chopped off… by Kurogane. As C!Kurogane's head rolled around scaring some ducks, R!Kurogane was still in his after strike position, eyes darting left and right as if looking for more blood. Which wasn't too far from the truth.

After everyone except the Kuroganes stopped their screaming, all minds registered the fact that there were wires and sparks coming out of the chopped off part of the head's neck. There was an uncomfortable silence, then, followed by R!Kurogane kicking the body of C!Kurogane halfway across the park. Syaoran wondered how he would be able to explain that to the nun in charge of the group of children nearby.

"What the hell is everyone staring at?" R!Kurogane snarled.

Taking the initiative and ignoring the fact that Kurogane should have the common sense figure it out by his self, Syaoran said, "Well, um, we thought that that was you… and you killed him."

A vein began to throb in his neck at that. "I didn't kill him," he slowly began, "because IT wasn't alive!"

"Then what was it?" Mokona asked, jumping atop his head.

"A damn robot, you stupid manjuu! Why the hell do you think that there are wires and shit coming out of it?!"

Syaoran noticed that Sakura flinched at such language, and normally when that happened he would try and calm Kurogane down. However, his mind had other things on it at that moment. Yes, it surprised him, too.

"Why was Kuro-puu a robot?" Mokona was saying.

"That wasn't me!"

"I think Mokona means, why was there a robot of you?" Syaoran quietly offered.

"Hell if I know! Some asshole just comes out of no where, says some pointless crap, and throws me into a different dimension!"

"How'd you get out?" Mokona asked with more enthusiasm than it should have.

"Kicked the gate keeper's ass."

"Did you see who the man was?" Syaoran asked.

"I was too distracted by the guy's ass-chin. And you!" Kurogane whirled around and pointed right at Fai, who had been eerily quiet. "Stop looking so damn depressed!"

Fai didn't say anything. He just looked at the robot head, back to Kurogane, back to the robot head, then back to Kurogane, and sighed.

"WHAT?!"

"Nothing."

"Okay, then-"

"It's just that I've asked you so many times just for one night of romance, but you can't do even that for me!" Crocodile tears had started to form in the corner of this eyes.

"Don't give me that crap!"

"And then I finally get a beautiful day of tender treatment and absolute worship and just when I think that you're finally appreciating me, you turn out to be a robot! You're so selfish!"

"I'm selfish?! Don't get me started on all the crap you pull on me! And you better not have slept with it!"

"No, but we did have a wonderful bath together complete with candles, scented soaps, and rose petals. And just to let you know, the only kisses we shared were those of the native people of my land!"

Once again, Syaoran decided to leave out a question. This one was one of how could a robot take a bath. He felt it would be inappropriate. But looking at Kurogane, the man seemed to have simmered just a little after hearing Fai hadn't done anything.

"Would you shut up already about that Eskimo crap?" he mumbled. "I wouldn't be surprised if you were making it up."

"But," Fai drawled and stood up to take Kurogane's arm, "I do like your passion. And things would be dull without it."

Fai proceeded to give Kurogane a small peck on the cheek, and that was the end of things. While they headed out of the park to do something that wasn't, "a waste of time," and as the gruffer one of the couple allowed his hand to be held, Syaoran could just make out a hint of a smile on Kurogane's face.

"I think he's happy," Sakura whispered to Syaoran. "He's glowing!"

Though Syaoran didn't see any type of light coming off of him, he did agree that he seemed very pleased. And he also had to admit, Fai was one hundred percent correct about the original Kurogane being way better than the robot. The robot was a pussy. And yes, they left the lame thing in the middle of the park for someone else to take care of it.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

**A/N:** Sorry this hasn't been updated in a while. What? Four weeks? Not too bad. It's my new laptop. The stupid thing's word processor isn't accepted by fan fiction. I got to get a new program. So now I have to use the family computer and just type a random sentence, submit that onto my name, then type the actual story onto my own laptop and copy and paste it onto the document. -_sigh_- I'll deal with getting the new program this summer. Even worse, it's the Windows... Vista? I don't know, the new one so I have to buy the new thing instead of using my sister's! Such a pain.

Now I feel like I'm rusty on this subject. **Did this seem fast? **I feel like I should have put more detail into robot Kuro, but I couldn't think of anything else and I didn't want to overdue it, ya' know?

Next Chapter!: Gasp! A love triangle?! Between who?! Probably the worst (and by worst, I mean most perverted) chapter to come.


	14. The Love Triangle of Wrongness

**Date Written/Started:** April 12, 2007

**Summary:** The love triangle of doom

**Flo:** -_furiously stirring cookie dough_- Damn chef working me for 12 hours at a damn pool's snack bar with NO cute lifeguards!

**Fai:** You poor thing!… Kuro-rin, how about we-?

**Kurogane:** No.

**Fai:** I haven't even asked my question, yet!

**Kurogane:** I already know it involves a pool, and I also already know not to take you anywhere with lifeguards after that beach incident!

**Fai:** It's not my fault those lifeguards thought I was drowning! Besides, I wanted YOU to give me mouth to mouth!

**Flo:** -_still stirring cookie dough_- Thank God I quit the next day, but AAAAH! Half an hour lunch break with no other breaks?! Damn them all to hell in a basket!!!!

**WARNING! NOT my original idea!** As you can see, I started it well over a month ago but then had to stop writing 'cause of school (thank GOD I've finally graduated!) and when I came back to it I had lost most of my idea. SO, it's not as good as I wanted it to be, but I had to put this out just because I said I would, you all seemed set on it, and I wanted to get this out so I could continue with my other chapters. I just hope that it's still somewhat what you readers were hoping. Sorry!

**Inspired by fanart**

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

There was something wrong, something not quite right with things. Syaoran had been having bad vibes going through him for weeks. When he had mentioned this to Sakura, she said that she had been getting the same vibe. She also told him that it seemed to be affecting Mokona as well, because it appeared to be rather annoyed lately.

"Annoyed?" Syaoran echoed.

Sakura nodded. "And when I asked what was wrong, Mokona frowned and bounced away. Do you think that it was to talk with Witch-san?"

"Probably. I hope not, though. That might mean that something may be wrong."

"Don't worry, Syaoran-kun! I'm sure it's nothing to worry about!"

Syaoran smiled at his princess' optimism. Though both of them knew that good words could not make the inevitable go away.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

It was in the middle of the afternoon and everyone was sitting peacefully in the living room. Syaoran was studying that world's history, Kurogane was brooding since there were no battles to come ("damn hippies"), and Fai was teaching Sakura how to make love bead necklaces. Normally, Mokona would be "helping" but their little ball of fluff was no where to be seen. True, there were suspicions since it was so quiet, but they decided to let it be. Incense was such a wonderful thing!

They had had about fifteen minutes of zen, when Mokona came waddling in and hopped into Fai's lap.

"And where have you been lately?" Fai asked, smiling down at it. "It's been so quiet!"

"I've been talking with Yuuko," it said. However, the usual cheer that came with such a statement was no where to be heard. Instead, there was a determination that rivaled Syaoran's.

"Really? Anything important?"

Mokona nodded. "I was asking her advice on something." By now, everyone had stopped what they were doing and were listening to Mokona. This could be important to their mission. They all leaned in expectantly, holding their breaths. "Fai, will you be Mokona's boyfriend?"

Silence. That wasn't exactly what they had been expecting, nor something they would think would come out it's mouth. Even worse, it seemed that what Yuuko had given advice to it on was that it _should_ ask Fai out. Apparently, she was pro-inter species breeding.

"E-Excuse me?" Fai choked out.

"Mokona thinks that it would be for the better if you leave Kurogane and his abusive tendencies behind in favor of a fluffy, cute filled relationship! Yuuko also said it is for the best."

Kurogane let out a long sigh as he stood up, strode over to Mokona and said, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way, manjuu. Easy way being I just gut you right now. Hard way is you try to run. You should thank your ass I'm giving you an option. Now choose."

Syaoran was surprised at how calm he was being. Of course, the man had had lots of practice when it came to people hitting on Fai, whether it be girls or guys. Why, in just the last world they had come from, he had to punch out a lifeguard and be held back from trying to strangle the poor guy with his own whistle. It was decided then that Kurogane hated the beach. But back to the subject, Syaoran decided that just in case they should stock up on whatever they were burning.

"I choose neither and challenge you to a duel!" Mokona defiantly stated, impressing everyone with it's boldness. Or stupidity, but nobody was about to say that out loud.

Suddenly, Mokona grabbed one of Fai's gloves from the floor (it had come off during some freedom dance, something that involved many handkerchiefs but they had to use items of clothing not in current use since the stores were all sold out). Not wasting any time, the rabbit thing hopped over to where Kurogane was standing in his trade mark, "I kick so much ass" pose, and proceeded to slap the man clear across his face. The sound of fine Celesian fabric making contact with ninja rang throughout the room as children and momma looked back and forth between the two.

"Fai will be Mokona's ass from now on!" Mokona exclaimed. "Kuro-stupid head will just have to get over it and go back to roaming the streets looking for whores!"

"MOKONA!" Sakura gasped. She quickly picked the little bundle up and gave it a very stern look. "That was very rude!"

"But Sakura-chan!" it whined. "I want to play with Fai! Not Kuro-meanie! He hogs him!"

"Is that what this is all about?" Mokona looked away and nodded. Fai, meanwhile, discreetly let out a sigh of relief. "Then why didn't you say so in the first place?"

"I have! He just doesn't listen and drags Fai along to the bedroom every five minutes to play with him, then tells me I can't have fun with them! It's not fair!"

"Kurogane-san?" Sakura quietly began. "Will you try to lessen you and Fai-san's quality time together so Mokona won't feel left out? Or maybe let Mokona join you sometime?"

Unable to resist princesses or get over his disbelief at how the girl was practically obsessed with Fai and his' relationship yet she didn't get what "quality time" meant when it involved just the two of them, Kurogane growled and grumbled out a form of the word, "yes."

"Good!" Sakura chirped and let Mokona hop out of her arms. "I think I'll go start dinner."

"I'll be in to help in a few, Sakura-chan!" Fai called after her as she skipped into the kitchen.

Just as Syaoran was about to let the boulder that somehow accumulated itself onto his shoulders off, Mokona leaped into the air with a war cry and landed on Kurogane's face. Sheer annoyance soon turned into a pissed off struggle for survival as the man was quickly loosing oxygen. Fai and Syaoran jumped up when they realized this and yanked Mokona off as fast as possible, leaving Kurogane gasping for air in as manly a way as possible.

Sitting back down with Mokona, Fai held it in place as best he could. "Mokona!" he said. "Why did you try to kill Kuro-woof?"

"I told you already!" it said, obviously frustrated. "I love Fai! I will fight for him to the very end! And Yuuko told me to speak from my heart because as long as it's from the heart, the consequences don't matter at all!"

"Awwww, that's so-!" Kurogane's glare suddenly penetrated Fai's skull. "… But, um, you see, you can't just hurt others because you want to be with that person's current boyfriend or girlfriend."

"Why not?"

"Because… Because… Kuro-chuu, why is what Mokona's doing considered wrong?"

"You mean the trying to freakin' kill me part or the part about it wanting to screw you?!" Kurogane yelled. "Why are you even having to ask me?!"

"I would think it to be obvious that I don't know."

"You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Syaoran-kun?"

Seeing that the question was now directed at him, Syaoran reached deep into the vast cavern of wisdom that was his mind and managed to get this out: "Um, uh, because then everybody would be hurting everybody?"

"Perfect!" Fai praised. Kurogane, though, seemed to be silently voicing his confusion as to what was wrong with that. "There, Mokona, that is why you shouldn't kill Kuro-tan just to be with me. Okay?"

"No. I'm still horny!"

"How about I run you threw with that jackalope head's horn?!" (Don't ask how that got there.)

Before Kurogane was able to attack his little punching bag, though, Yuuko's image appeared, making everyone stop and pay her attention (we all know that that's the real reason why she created the Mokonas). Okay, so Kurogane actually didn't stop. He was like a runaway train, you couldn't stop him. It was a good thing Mokona was quick and had some intelligence, because it jumped out of Kurogane's lunge and landed in Fai's lap. It then proceeded to snuggle against his lower stomach. Much lower stomach.

After the hologram stopped shaking around, she said, "Is something the matter, Mokona? I just talked to you five minutes ago."

"Kuro-puu is keeping me from Mokona's one and only!" it told her. "Make him stop!"

"… What?"

"You don't know?!" Kurogane shouted. "You're the one who gave it that damn 'advice' on speaking your freakin' heart!"

"First of all, that, dearest Kurogane, is something maybe you should pay attention to if you want to keep that sweet ass as your property. Second, yes, I did tell Mokona that but I don't see how that applies to you! Unless… Mokona! What did I tell you about ninjas?!"

"That they're already too busy humping their swords to hump anyone else, unless it's a lanky magician," Mokona explained, completely dead pan. "But Mokona isn't in love with Kuro-stupid head!"

"Thank God. So what's the problem?"

"He's being a jealous Kuro-bum!"

"He is?"

"Yes! He is standing in the way of Mokona's love-love!"

"Kuro-bastard!" Yuuko added a glare and a disappointed head shake to this statement.

"Don't I get a say in this?!" Kurogane yelled. If he was a complete idiot, Syaoran wondered if he would actually try and attack Yuuko's hologram.

"Well, I don't know," Yuuko said, turning her attention to the p.o.ed ninja. "What is there to say?"

"Inter-species relationships are freakin' wrong, lady!"

"… Okay, I'm confused." Another shocking moment. Yuuko plus confused equals even more confused on lookers. Yuuko does not get confused. However, her raised eyebrow and head scratching indicated that she apparently did.

"Mokona is in love with Fai-san and has challenged Kurogane-san to a duel for him," Syaoran explained as if it was an every day occurrence with the best of his abilities.

Silence.

Then, "What the hell?!" Yuuko shouted.

"It looks like we're on the same page here," Kurogane muttered.

"Since when are you in love with Fai?!"

"WHAT?!" another squeaky voice rang out. It looked like the image was bouncing as Yuuko ran to a mirror. Then her picture was joined with the black Mokona's in the mirror. "Soel! What about what we had?!" the black Mokona cried.

"Larg!" the white Mokona cried also. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way, but our long distant relationship just isn't working out. It's not you, it's me! And Fai has always been here for me when I needed him."

By now, "Larg" was crying it's adorable little eyes out while Yuuko was patting it on the head. Fai, meanwhile, kept opening and closing his mouth as if trying to find something to say. Words seemed to be escaping him.

"I wish we could have talked about this!" Larg continued, sniffling slightly. "We may have been able to work things out!"

"I just need more love than what we can give each other over the jewel phone! I still love you, Larg!"

"Then why are you doing this to us?!"

Dramatic music sounded in the back round, Yuuko yelled to Watanuki to turn down the TV and tape her stories, and Syaoran decided that he should try to end this, or at least get his self out of there.

"Can we stop?" Syaoran pleaded, earning everyone's attention. "I… I just don't think that this is something that we should be discussing when there are more impor-"

"Says the boy who is so far from getting laid that he can't even properly film me some good porn!" Yuuko said completely out of the blue, causing Fai and Kurogane to freeze in, hopefully, confusion. She must have still been upset about her ruined evening. "Now you will sit down, listen, and add some determined wisdom to this conversation in order to help work everything out. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, ma'am." He didn't want anybody to start asking questions about the porn film thing, so he just did he was told and sank into the bean bag chair. Then again, he probably would have done what she said, anyway.

"Now then," she continued, "Soel, what is the real reason you've chosen to try and get some with Fai?" Dear gods.

Mokona sighed. "I wanted to make Larg jealous." More dramatic music.

"Watanuki! I told you to turn that down! Is that true, Soel?"

"Yes."

"But why?" Larg asked. "Why would you do that?"

"Because you're always talking about Watanuki! About how good he can cook, about how he cleans every spot of the shop, how he's so funny when he's mad, and how nice he is even though you mess with him so much! It made me feel… it made me feel that you liked him better than me!"

"Is that really what all this is about?"

Soel lowered it's head. "Yes. Can you ever forgive me?"

After a moment of contemplation, Larg sighed and answered, "Of course! But we still need to talk about this! Okay?"

"Anything!"

"Oh, Soel!"

"Oh, Larg!"

"There, all better!" Yuuko proclaimed, clapping her hands. "Syaoran-kun, any relationship advise?"

Syaoran looked up but not directly in the woman's eyes and answered, "Um, always listen to your, uh, significant other and express your feelings?"

"Very good! Okay, bye!"

"What?!" Kurogane shouted. "After all this crap, that's how it's solved?!" However, Yuuko was gone before he spoke, leaving him fuming. Fai was looking very flustered, as well. Not exactly mad, just frazzled, so to speak. It wasn't everyday you're in the middle of a rabbit hybrid love triangle/square. Meanwhile, Mokona/Soel merrily hopped out of the room singing that it was going to help Sakura with dinner.

On the plus side, Syaoran found a wonderful opportunity to escape this awkward situation. Sadly, this had the opposite effect. Due to the "chair" being made of cloth and beans of some sort, he found himself sinking deeper and deeper into it instead of out of it and this drew him attention. Even worse, Kurogane's face showed that he suddenly remembered something.

"Stay, brat!" he commanded. Syaoran immediately ceased his movements. "What the hell was that bitch talking about when she said you were bad at… at…"

"Pornographic filming," Fai offered.

"What he said."

As all eyes were on him, Syaoran wondered how much pain his rear end would receive if he refused to answer Kurogane as opposed to the truthfully answering him.

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**A/N:** Meh, not that disturbing. Maybe if my original idea comes back to me, I'll repost this chapter, but until then I hope this was okay. I don't really like it too much, but since I already said that this would be the next chapter, I wanted to get this out so I could continue with my others.

**ALSO!** So, y'all know how Kurogane is associated with a dragon 'cause of his sword and Fai is associated with a phoenix 'cause of his tattoo? Read this, I found it linked on the tsubasa forums and laughed my ass off! (take out all the spaces, of course) After reading it, I have a sneaking suspicion that CLAMP totally did this on purpose.

http :// www. fengshuibestbuy . com /SL10293 - chinese coin . Html

You know what to do!

Please leave a review!

As always, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcomed along with ideas for future chapters!

**Next chapter:** Probably going to cease this part, just because I got stuck with this idea, BUT I will say I've been writing this (hopefully) next chapter ever since chapter 10! 


	15. The Mystery at Ashmore Manor

**Date Written:** August 20, 2007

**Summary:** When staying at a bed and breakfast, the Tsubasa gang think that they are among enemy surveillance… more so than usual.

**Flo:** Got this little idea from rereading one of my Yami no Matsuei fics… I need to update that thing, I have so much fun with Muraki after all.

**Muraki:** I haven't gotten to kill you. I'm not having any fun.

**Flo:** Hey, you're not supposed to be here! CLAMP is screwed up enough already! Go, like, molest that chicken in the fridge or something… wow, I've been spending too much time with you.

**Muraki:** It's more of the other way around, dear girl. -_decides to do as suggested due to lack of blood and molestation as Flo's verbally abusive conscience_-

**WARNINGS!** An OC who shall never appear again. Consider her a torture monkey.

**ALSO!** No, this is not the one that I've been working on forever. -_sigh_- It's not looking good for it. I just can't write a single sentence without laughing my ass off! In a bad way.

**FINALLY!** Still taking ideas. In dire need of them. Perverted inspiration has morphed into fluff. Not that there's anything wrong with it, it's just that I want to continue this a bit longer. So fun!

**Hope you enjoy!**

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Good things come to those who wait. That was what Syaoran kept telling himself as his rear end still throbbed from the combination of landing on it when the came to the next world, and the serious beating he got when he spilled the beans on a certain non-pornographic tape that was intended for Yuuko. It had lead to many jokes by Fai along the lines of, "Now you know how I feel!" which Syaoran really didn't need.

Anyway, this next world looked to be a peaceful one as well, to Kurogane's annoyance, and the only magic there was Sakura's feather. It made things so much easier. Even better, it was strongest at a place called a Bed and Breakfast, so they could have a place to stay and already be in the needed location for searching.

Syaoran figured that his much earned good karma must have finally caught up with him.

The place was a large mansion looking house, with a beautiful yard, ivy climbing up the house, and even a gazebo. And the people were very nice and accommodating. Right when they walked in, the presumed owner assisted them and before they knew it, they were checked in and shown to their rooms. Yes, Syaoran had gotten some wonderfully good karma because these rooms had absolutely everything. Big beds, a desk, two chairs, a connected bathroom, everything. Except for bed sheets, to which Fai made sure to point out.

The lady was horrified and quickly apologized, before shouting in the halls for someone named Mimi. A few minutes later, a girl rushed in with the sheets, apologizing over and over again to the lady (whom she called Mom), but then suddenly stopped.

It was silent as she stared at them and they stared back. For a while, Syaoran wondered if it was the way they were dressed, but the lady had told them that she loved their retro look. In the end, nothing was said as Mimi shakily covered the beds (glancing many times over towards Kurogane and Fai) and someone managed to leave without falling.

Her mother apologized again for her odd behavior and told them to just ignore her while they enjoy their stay at the "Ashmore Manor" or something.

Kurogane's wisdom informed them that the girl was probably just high.

They didn't think anything of it until day number two, when they were getting anxious. While Sakura and Kurogane played with the dogs and Fai harassed Kurogane about it, Syaoran noticed Mimi hanging laundry and decided that it would be a good thing to ask her some questions.

"Excuse me, miss?" he said as he approached her.

Out of nowhere, she screeched and whirled around like a hurricane, clutching a sheet to her chest. A slight pause before, "C-Can I help you, sir?"

"Um, yes, I was just wondering how old this house is. By the age of the wood, I'd say it was a few decades. Am I right?"

"Yes, of course… it's, uh… um, old. Like, I think, a hundred and something… anything else, sir?"

"A hundred?! Wow, the craftsmanship is amazing and your family seems to have kept it in near perfect condition! I-!" Syaoran mentally slapped himself for getting off subject. "Are there any old artifacts that you've found or family heirlooms in your hands?"

Mimi eyed him suspiciously for a few seconds, appearing to be debating something. "You mean like a… feather, of sorts?"

Syaoran tried to keep the shock from showing on his face, but he wasn't sure if he did. Mokona had said that this world didn't have any magic aside from Sakura's feather, so how did this girl know that he was looking for it? Unless, Syaoran thought in horror, she's like Dr. Kyle! At that, he went into determined protection mode and decided to keep an eye on her in case she tried to pull something. Of course, you can't do too much damage with your hands shaking as much as hers were. There were a few strained words exchanged between the two of them before Syaoran retreated.

After mentioning this to the others, Kurogane's wisdom informed them that she was probably new and therefore a pansy.

Day three consisted of Fai and Sakura discreetly wandering around the house with Mokona posing as a stuffed animal, while Kurogane kept a look out for anything suspicious and Syaoran joined him, desperately trying to get back on his good side. Mind you, Kurogane had actually forgiven him after the spanking since he didn't actually film them and he had his reasons (though odd as they were). Syaoran was just paranoid.

The day went by with Mimi occasionally passing them in the halls, her eyes always on them, studying them, going over every inch of their bodies. Well, more Kurogane's than Syaoran's. Probably measuring him up for a fight. Sakura informed them later of Mimi talking to Fai and her, asking questions about where there were from, what was it like to travel, and how they all met. The strange part of this was that they hadn't informed her or their hosts that they were traveling and they had also claimed to be distant relatives (Fai was adopted).

"Why would she ask such things?" Syaoran asked while they had a briefing of their situation in one of their rooms. "It'd blow her cover if she was working with Dr. Kyle."

"I've already said she's probably some new comer to whatever he's doing," Kurogane said.

"Maybe," Fai said. "Or perhaps she's gathering information on our progress. Now that we know that that man is after the feathers as well, he's most likely tracking us in order to stay one step ahead. Mimi might be here just to observe."

"Whatever it is," Syaoran began, "we can't let her or Dr. Kyle interfere. We should keep a close eye on her the rest of the time we're here."

The group agreed on this and decided to take shifts near her door. Syaoran insisted on the first and longest shift in order to make things up to Kurogane, who was about to protest until Fai leaned over and whispered something in his ear, to which he shrugged it off.

Night fell, and Syaoran positioned himself near the enemy's headquarters, ready to observe her actions. Time passed and he heard an hour long discussion about how sexy Kurogane was (something he really wished would be a suppressed memory) until she walked out of her room and into the bathroom. Once he heard the some water running, Syaoran snuck into her room in order to gather information on what exactly her mission was.

The room was shockingly normal looking. At least from what he got was normal in that world. But that was not important. Syaoran set off glancing through drawers and delicately moving things around (he was even brave enough to look through the panty drawer once he found a pencil), making sure not to leave anything out of place. The dresser held no special papers or notes, the closet revealed no secret passages, and the walls weren't hollowed out to hide anything. The only place left was under the bed.

Syaoran couldn't help but smirk in victory as he pulled out a few shoe boxes that were much too heavy to have shoes in them. Most likely piles upon piles of papers detailing their journey up until this point. Thinking it best to look them over to see how much trouble they could cause if handed over to Dr. Kyle before burning them, Syaoran took another look into the hallway to make sure Mimi was still gone and then opened one of the boxes.

Only to be met with an image of an oddly pretty Kurogane and Fai wrapped in each others arms.

Syaoran stared for a while, incredibly confused. It appeared to be a book of some sort, but why would it have such a strange picture of Kurogane and Fai on the cover? They were in a sunflower field and he knew that Kurogane hated sunflowers. Shaking the obvious from his mind, Syaoran concluded that it was information on the two made to look like… something else. What something else, he wasn't quite sure. Still, he needed to do what needed to be done.

Syaoran quickly flipped a few pages before coming to a halt at one where everyone was sweaty. It was in Piffle World and Fai was complaining. It didn't sound terribly familiar, but Syaoran took it up to Mimi trying to make things look better for Dr. Kyle. Though, he didn't understand how Kurogane and Fai sweating a lot would make her look better.

He flipped farther ahead and found Kurogane and Fai still sweaty and miserable. Only, this was drawn differently. Another weird part was that it was illustrated to the dialogue. Mimi must be very thorough, Syaoran thought. It was probably a bad thing. It meant she could show very detailed fight scenes, giving away all of their moves and then Dr. Kyle could find a way to defeat them and get the feathers. Curse her.

It went on with Fai still complaining and Kurogane getting annoyed, followed by a time shift where Kurogane finds Fai sleeping and when he takes off the cover, Fai is naked and - "What?!" Syaoran squeaked.

He clasped his hand over his mouth, and glanced back out the door. It seemed nobody had heard him and Mimi was still in the bathroom. He looked back at the book and was thankful that there was a type of censor with Fai's lower body, but still. She must have been spying on them while Sakura, Mokona, and himself were somewhere else. However, he wasn't sure where the valuable information was.

Maybe if I go towards the end, there will be a summary of what she's gotten, Syaoran thought.

And so he plunged deeper and deeper into the strange book of notes, coming across kissing (which he was okay with), touching (above the waist, so still slightly okay), and then a strange picture of-

"That is an inappropriate use of an ice cube!" Syaoran exclaimed once it registered what was happening. He didn't even think to check if anyone had heard his as it then turned colored and Fai said that he wanted Kurogane's heat instead of the ice cube and there was a lot of panting and who knew that there was so much poetry going on during such actions and…

Darkness. (1)

UuUuUuUuUuUuUuU

Syaoran was awoken by a high pitched "eep!" sound that made his ears ring. The room soon came into focus and he found that he was still lying in Mimi's room, Mimi herself standing in the door way and her face a bright shade of red.

"Wh-What… you… those…" Mimi was stuttering, obvious fear that she had been found out showed in her voice.

Syaoran quickly composed himself and jumped up in a triumphant pose. "I don't know what all of this is," he began (mentally adding that he didn't want to), "but we're onto you and we're not going to let you take Sakura's feather! We will be sure to get it before you and-"

"It'sbehindthemousehousedoorintheclockonthemantle!" Mimi frantically interrupted him, her arms flying around in sheer panic.

Syaoran paused, still in a determined pose but not with a determined face to match, and stared at the shaky girl in front of him. "… E-Excuse me?"

"The feather! Sakura's memory! It's behind the mouse door in the clock on the mantle! Get it and please leave me and my sanity alone!" She was now tugging at her small pig tails, eyes wider than saucepans and slightly watery.

"But… aren't you with Dr. Kyle?"

"Huh? Dr… no!"

"But you knew about the feather! And just now you said it was Sakura's memory! Not only that, you also seem to know who he is. How else would you know so much if you aren't working with him?"

"Please, I'm begging you. My parents think I'm crazy because of all this and-"

"I'm not leaving until you explain this!" Syaoran snatched up a different book and opened it's contents to show Mimi, who promptly squeaked again and shut the door behind her. Syaoran prepared for a battle.

"Do you know what you just opened that thing to?" By now, she wasn't even looking at him.

Syaoran raised an eyebrow and took a glance inside the book. He dropped it as if it were poisoned immediately afterward and tried to find something to say, only to end up looking like a fish. A heavy and awkward silence filled the room at that point. Neither looked at the other as Mimi reopened the door and Syaoran left to go check out this clock.

It turned out she was telling the truth, and so Syaoran promptly gave Sakura her feather while she was sleeping. He then went back to his room and went to sleep as well, not bothering to try and figure out where Fay and Kurogane were since he didn't think he could face them for the thousandth time in this journey.

UuUuUuUuUuUuUuU

In the end, the only conclusion Syaoran was able to come up with was that Mimi was not working with Dr. Kyle. Everything else, particularly those strange comics, were a mystery and a preferred mystery at that. It wasn't even mentioned to the others. That was a silent promise exchanged between one look at the breakfast table the next morning.

That trip was later referred to as "The Mystery at Ashmore Manor" since Syaoran couldn't bring himself to explain all that had happened and the reasons. The final image of dirty parts actually drawn with some type of ribbon around them always popped up, making Syaoran relive the embarrassment and not speak for hours. Sakura was understanding, Kurogane didn't care, there were suspicions that Fai knew anyway, and Mokona…

"Syaoran-kun looks like he's been reading dirty doujinshi!"

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**1.)** I seriously read one like that with an ice cube. It's at su-chan's live journal, scanlated and everything. -giggles immaturely- The ribbon one is true, also… I can read smut so long as there are no naughty bits shown, and this one did have naughty bits shown with ribbons and… I can't remember where I stumbled across it, though.

**2.)** (side note) You know that eventually they'd come across something like this. I've read many a fics with fan girls doing what they do best (fangirling) when encountering the Tsubasa gang, but I always felt that a person would freak out before doing anything else. Aside from write them off as cosplayers. But yeah, a different look on it while introducing Syaoran to the wonders of doujinshi!

You know what to do!

Please leave a review!

As always, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcomed with dirty doujinshi!


	16. Blossoming Part 1

**Date Written:** June 12, 2007

**Summary:** Poor, poor Sakura. Around all of those men.

**WARNINGS!** Lady things.

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It was a pleasant morning in the Mokona family. Syaoran had actually slept peacefully, and the feather was retrieved just the other day, thus ending all of that world's issues. Since it was such a quiet one, the group had decided to stay just one more day for some rest and relaxation. Even better, Sakura had given Syaoran a kiss on the cheek for standing up to that mean duke. Honestly, things could not have been better that morning. Plus, he could smell Fai's special cinnamon buns and they were coaxing Syaoran to hurry downstairs.

With a skip in his step and a tune in his heart, Syaoran waltzed down the hall, happy as could be. It seems the boy is oblivious to this being a bad omen, though.

Right when he passed by the bathroom, he heard Sakura let out a small screech of terror. Moving quickly, Syaoran hurried back to the door (all two paces) and said while knocking, "Princess! Is everything alright?" He waited patiently for five seconds before knocking harder and shouting, "Princess! What happened?! Are you okay?!"

Before Syaoran was about to kick the door down (even though it was unlocked, it would just look seriously cool like in the movies and stuff), he heard Sakura hesitantly whisper, "I… I'm not, um… sure."

What is that supposed to mean? Syaoran thought. He shrugged it off as just a weird girl thing and said, "Are you hurt?"

"… I don't know if this counts."

Okay, this was getting a bit frustrating. Sakura had never been so cryptic as she was in those past two sentences. Wait, Syaoran thought, she has been acting really weird lately. She had that strange freak out yesterday about it never being the right temperature and she has been having those stomach problems. Oh my god! What if it's a stomach ulcer?!

"Do you need me to come in there?!" Syaoran continued.

"Well… I need something… but, uh, I don't know… who to ask?" She seemed to be struggling to speak, Syaoran realized. This was something that required more man power than just him.

"I'll be right back, princess!" As he ran off, he almost thought he heard her answer, "Take your time!" Rushing into the kitchen like a chicken with its head chopped off, Syaoran shouted, "Sakura is in trouble!"

Looking over his shoulder from the eggs, Fai said, "I thought she was taking a shower. Did she slip on the soap?"

It appeared Sakura had been in trouble one too many times. The shock must have worn off of the statement, because Kurogane was still struggling with eating his breakfast, Mokona was still teasing him about it, and Fai just looked at Syaoran like he had said, "Why, good morning to you, Fai-san! I do believe that the weather today shall be in the mid to low 70's and partly cloudy! What say we have a picnic?"

Syaoran shook his head at that way too long reflection. "No! She… Well, I don't know what's wrong, but it's something! She says she needs, um… something. She was being really vague. But we have to help her!"

"How was she acting?" Kurogane asked, dropping the knife and fork in an obvious annoyed manner (that usually happened early in the morning in worlds without chopsticks).

"Weird. She was saying that something was wrong, but she wouldn't say what. And when I asked her if she was hurt, she said that she wasn't sure if what was wrong with her counted as being hurt. But I'm really worried about her, Kurogane-san! You've seen how she's been acting and what she's been eating the past few days!"

"Yeah." Sighing, Kurogane got up from the table and made his way towards the bathroom, Syaoran, Fai, and Mokona close behind. Well, Syaoran was technically all around Kurogane, bouncing like he desperately needed to use the vicinities when in reality he was just trying to keep himself from begging Kurogane to walk faster. He knew better than to pester the man when in a situation that may require his amazing skills.

After taking a few seconds or hours, depending on your personality at the time, to walk down the hall, the group stopped in front of the door. Fai held Syaoran's shoulders to stop the bouncing as Kurogane knocked on it.

"Y-Yes?" Sakura's small voice came through after a while.

"Oi, princess," Kurogane began. "You bleeding?"

Immediately, a horrified cry was heard. Mokona looked concerned, Kurogane looked exasperated, Fai made that, "ah" sound indicating he understood something, but Syaoran flipped out.

"Blood?!" he near girly screamed. Not taking any time to think, Syaoran lunged past Kurogane and for the door, opening it at the same time Kurogane grabbed his collar to try to hold him back.

When Sakura heard the door open and saw Syaoran, she let out an ear piercing screech and proceeded to throw bars of soap at the boy. Syaoran didn't understand why. He was just trying to help his princess! He even saw some blood stains on her bath robe and was about to offer a ripped off piece of his shirt, just like the guys in the movies do.

"I'm sorry, but get out!" Sakura was yelling.

"I'm sorry, princess, but I just want to help! We need to sto-!"

Suddenly, he was thrown backwards out of the bathroom and into Fai. Too shocked to say anything, all Syaoran could do was look up at Fai with a look of confusion and pain that his princess would abuse him with soap. Mokona gave him a little pat on the head to help ease his aching heart.

"Is this a new thing or have you had it before?" Kurogane was saying, the door cracked just a little to allow better communication.

"This is the first time," Sakura whispered.

"Right. Kid, go to the store and get some… you know."

"Sanitation napkins," Fai finished.

Realization dawned on the boy at the same time Sakura let out another agonizing moan of horror. It really was weird girl things. And Syaoran had just made it so much worse for the her. He wanted to crawl into a hole and never see the light of day again (that made two people). He couldn't say anything as Fai steadied him and gave him some money.

"Kuro-rin, would you please ask Sakura-chan what kind she would like?" Fai said.

"Why me?" Kurogane asked. "I think my job is finished here."

"Well, compared to Syaoran-kun, Mokona, and I, you're the expert on this subject. Am I right?" Kurogane snorted and looked off to the side. "Of course I'm right. Kuro-pipi had Tomoyo-chan to look after so it just makes sense that he had to deal with these things and that makes him the best person to sympathize with Sakura-chan! Now go comfort your lovely daughter, Kuro-daddy!"

"I'm not going in there!" Kurogane hissed, trying to keep Sakura from hearing him. "She'll just be even more embarrassed!"

"I'm just asking you to ask her if she wants a specific kind and try to make her feel better," Fai whispered back, a bit of irritation in his voice. Syaoran, meanwhile, was still standing there doing a fantastic job of shutting up.

"Which I'm going to ask, just not in there!"

"But if she has to tell you through the door then all of us will hear and she's sensitive at this time."

"No kidding! But you're going to find out anyway, so she'll just have to suck it up."

"Don't be so insensitive to your daughter!"

"She's not my daughter!"

"Um, Ku-Kurogane-san?" Sakura called.

"Huh?" Kurogane grunted, still glaring at Fai.

"Did… Did you have to do this with Tomoyo-chan, too?"

Fai's smile grew to maximum happy as Kurogane turned his attention back to the door. "Kind of. She actually came running into one of my training sessions with the guards and announced to me she was a woman as of whatever time she had discovered it. It was more embarrassing for me than her, obviously."

"I'm sorry about this."

"Don't be sorry for something that just happens. There are worse things in life. Like an idiot mage who won't stop fake crying!"

"It's just so adorable!" Fai sobbed into Mokona. "Father and daughter bonding! I wish I had a camera!" Sakura squeaked at that and shut the door completely. "I wasn't being serious, Sakura-chan!"

"Just shut up, you're not helping! Kid!" Syaoran snapped back to reality after going into his happy place. "Just ask the lady at the counter for them. She'll probably be able to help you."

"Wh-What?!" Syaoran barely got out.

"Go to the drug store down the road and ask for ones for girls that are just… starting. You got that?"

"But…!"

It was then that Kurogane officially mastered the "look." Not the normal look that he gives when annoyed, but the dreaded glare that fathers give their kids when the kid is about to protest against something. That had Syaoran just nodding and leaving as fast as possible with Mokona jumping onto his head. Not to mention completely forgetting all about what his mission was.

**TBC**

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**1.)** Men are such pansies when confronted with women issues. I WAS going to go ahead and go into Syaoran's trip to the store, but decided to make this a two parter. Oh, and for the future, this was atually posted November 25. Yes, I started AND finished this in June... and frankly, have no clue why I didn't post it until now. -_yawns_- Whatever, I'm tired.

**2.)** (side note) I couldn't help it, I ADORE Kuro/Saku/father/daughter bonding! And we all know that Kurogane is the REAL woman in the marriage.

**A/N:** I now have a livejournal and am part of the kurofai community! Check me out, if you feel like it, but be warned that I am NOT posting my fics or art there due to some of my friends being on there and I'm... embarrassed about being into this stuff. But I've posted some fics on the comm that I haven't here, as a FYI. And my user name is the same as this one.

**IDEAS ARE WANTED!** I still want to continue this for a bit longer.


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